Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Nov 27, 2008 3:10:44 GMT -5
As Jack took the keys from Juliet, he nodded slightly when she said she would. "Good." Jack told her and moved to the front door. Sliding the key in, he opened the door silently, stepping into his house. He brushed his feet on the mat by the door. "So, I guess I can give you a tour. Or something like it." he said with a slight smile before he motioned off towards the left. "There's Dad's study over there." Jack knew that he hadn't stepped into the area since before he had left for Sydney. He couldn't. "It's my dad, so there's a full bar in there, too. My mom's got her study right next to his."
He lead her into the living room. "The living room. Self expanitory, I think. The dining room's this way." he said, moving towards the kitchen. "Do you want sugar or cream or anything?" he asked as he moved to turn on the coffee machine. He lifted the lid to the coffee pot, sniffing the brown liquid. He poured it down the drain and filled the machine with water. The coffee pot made a hissing noise as it started to brew the coffee.
"I really don't like staying here. It reminds me too much of my dad. It reminds me of Sarah, too, strangely. Mom still hadn't gotten around to taking the pictures of the wedding down." Jack admitted honestly. "But Sarah took the house when we got divorced and they sold my apartment. I guess they've got a rule that people that were declared dead can no longer own apartments. Stupid rule, I think, since I was paid up until the end of the year. Thank god Mom took everything from the house."
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Juliet Burke
original islander.
It's Very Stressful Being an Other
Posts: 40
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Post by Juliet Burke on Nov 27, 2008 3:35:26 GMT -5
Juliet followed behind Jack, following suit, and wiping her feet. She grinned when he talked about giving her a tour. "I'd be an honor." Juliet began taking in everything about the house as they entered, the way it smelled, the lighting, the photos on the wall. Seeing the pictures of Jack with his wife, looking so happy, made her stomach sink. Somehow it served as a reminder to her that she just wasn't. She wasn't Sarah, she wasn't Kate. Whether or not she was or wasn't what Jack wanted, she still wanted to make sure that he was safe, and that he was happy.
She turned her attention to where he pointed out his dad's study, arching an eyebrow at the mention of a full bar, maybe that's where Jack was getting his fill. "I see. So is there any left?" There was a twinge of dry sarcasm in her tone, and a twinkle in her eye as she asked, trying to lighten the mood, but it was unlikely Jack would even catch it in his current state. Instead she just smiled, and followed Jack into the kitchen.
"Cream please." Juliet answered with a nod, standing with her hands clasped in front of her, looking up at the walls, and cabinets. Wondering what is was like for Jack, growing up here. It was certainly more luxorious than Juliet's childhood home. She would have given anything to have lived in a place this nice growing up, as opposed to the little rented home her sister and mother shared in Miami.
Juliet turned her full attention back on Jack as he elaborated about the memories the house brought, and how he didn't like being here. She shifted awkwardly as he mentioned Sarah, so flippantly as well. She knew she had no right to be jealous over such a petty thing, but she couldn't help the nagging thoughts that came up with that woman's name.
"Maybe you could get a refund," Juliet offered wryly, trying once more to lift both his and her mood. Shifting in her stance, to look behind her back into the other portion of the house, Juliet let her eyes drift back to Jack, meeting his for a split second before dropping them away.
"Have you been looking at apartment at all? There were a few in the Times this morning, you could have your own place again. That is unless you plan to take anymore ill fated plane rides, and break the rules again." Juliet's lips curved up just slightly, not quite breaking a smile.
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Nov 27, 2008 3:56:06 GMT -5
"So, is there any left?"
Jack felt himself smirk slightly at Juliet's words. "Christian Shephard had a reserve of alcohol that would rival nuclear bomb shelter stocks. My dad was real good about never letting the bar run dry. Worked well when I was a teenager. I was always the one you hung with if you wanted to get wasted." However, Jack had been polishing off alot of the stock that Christian had lately, he reminded himself.
"Maybe you can get a refund."
Jack laughed slightly actually amused at her small joke. "Yeah, maybe. I'm sure I can just throw the fact that I survived three months on an Island, not to mention the fact that I survived a plane breaking apart in mid air. I'm sure they'd understand."
The coffee pot hissed and bubbled, and Jack moved to pour two cups. He reached into the fridge and brought ouf the cream.
"Have you been looking at apartments at all?
"My mother just got me back after three months, there's no way in hell that she'll let me look for an apartment. And she's actually treating me decently now that Dad's dead." What he didn't tell Juliet right off is that he had barely spent time at his apartment before the crash. "I didn't really...stay at my apartment much before the crash. I mean, I'd be working so much. I spent a month in Phuket, so...I don't think it missed me when I was gone for three months."
He lifted the cup of coffee to his lips, taking a small sip. "Every time I walk around here, I'm just instantly reminded that no matter how much money you have...it doesn't make a happy home. Thankfully walls can't talk." he told her honestly after a moment of silence.
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Juliet Burke
original islander.
It's Very Stressful Being an Other
Posts: 40
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Post by Juliet Burke on Dec 2, 2008 1:46:00 GMT -5
"I see." Juliet said with a somber nod, "so is it safe to assume you were popular in high school?" Juliet questioned, keeping a straight face, apart from a small tugging on the corner of her lip. Juliet shifted her position some, raising her hand to brush a few fly away hairs out of her face. She felt a warning somewhere within, telling her she was getting too comfortable. Too close. But something else within her was much stronger, and that something was overruling the warning in her heart.
"Of course." Juliet smiled, "I'm sure if you just explained your situation, they'd be all too happy to refund your money." Accepting the coffee as he handed it over, Juliet gently blew on the steaming surface while watching him prepare his own. Tilting her head sympathetically as he spoke of his mother and his father. It felt like he was divulging a something personal, and it was, but something that she didn't read from a file. He was telling her of his own volition. Suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable, Juliet straightened, becoming more and more stiff as she stood there grasping the coffee.
"Well, its never easy to lose someone, and I can imagine her thinking she lost her son and her husband in the same week.. well that would be rather difficult." She let her eyes wander across the floor for a bit, before slowly raising back to him, although much of the sadness had returned. "If you got someone back from the dead, you'd probably want to keep them as close as you could." Her voice was failing her now, she couldn't understand why she was getting so emotional. Why was this any different than anything else she had ever been through? She'd loved before, and lost before. Jack wasn't even hers.
She didn't have much of a reply for his last comment. Nodding slowly, Juliet stared down into her coffee. Waiting several moments to speak again, she raised her head slowly locking her blue eyes on his rich hazel ones.
"I hope you don't wish it had been different, Jack. I believe that everything that happens to us, shapes us, and makes us who we are...." Easing into a small smile, "and I wouldn't want you to be any different."
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Dec 2, 2008 3:25:30 GMT -5
"So is it safe to assume you were popular in high school."
Jack found himself laughing, a true laugh that started to stretch the corners of his mouth until almost it was if he noticed it, and it faultered slightly. "I uh," Jack started, before taking a sip of his coffee. "I guess. I mean, I was at the top of everyone's list if they needed a house to use. My mom usually was never home and my dad...well, my dad was never home either."
Why was it so easy to talk to Juliet? He told her things that he hadn't told anyone else. Of course, he figured she already knew everything about him...but it was so much easier to talk to her than anyone else. He handed the coffee cup to her, and moved, sitting the short distance away from her on a barstool, the small sliver of table between them. Their coffee cups nearly touched as Jack took a sip and set it back down. When Juliet spoke of the apartment, Jack found himself smiling slightly as he looked down at his coffee cup. "Yeah, maybe."
"Well, it's never easy to lose someone, and I can imagine her thinking she lost her son and her husband in the same week...well, that would be rather difficult."
"Not even in a week. More like a couple days. My dad always told me he wanted to be buried before rigor mortis set in. I was just following his wishes." But Jack knew that partly, it was a lie. He had wanted it over and done with. He had needed it to be over more than anything in the world...and now it would never be over with. His father's body was somewhere on that Island...and it would never be over, because Jack knew, no matter how much he tried, he could never bury the memory of his father in his mind. He found himself staring into the brown liquid of his coffee cup, wishing that it held all the answers to every single one of his problems. But it was simply a black mass of liquid. "...I did it because I knew that if I waited just...one more day that it would never be over. He'd never leave. He still hasn't."
"I hope you don't wish it had been different, Jack. I believe that everything to us, shapes us, and makes us who we are. And I wouldn't want you to be any different."
"I don't--" Jack started, his brows narrowing slightly as he stared at his coffee cup. "I don't wish things were different." he said after a moment, tongue darting out to lick dry lips. "I don't wish things were different because it's like you said...everything that happens to us, it shapes us. And if--if my old man hadn't treated me the way that he treated me, if he hadn't left, I probably would have never been on 815. I would have never had a reason to be in Australia, I would have never known about Claire or--or Kate or Sawyer or any of them."
His fingers found hers, slowly at first. Her hands were smooth, not much different than on the Island. He could feel the small differences, the smooth, almost silky feel of lotion that they hadn't had the pleasure of having on the Island. At least the Survivors hadn't. "Or you."
"You know," Jack said, his voice suddenly slower as he watched his fingers slowly play with her own. "I'm not stubborn." He glanced from her fingers, to her eyes, and then back at her fingers once again. "No, no I'm not. I'm--" A faint smile spread on his lips. "I'm...cautious." What had reminded him of when they had first met? Maybe it was the half-smirk that she had given him. Maybe it was just the sound of her voice.
"I, uh...I never said I was sorry. For--" he motioned to his neck with his free hand while keeping hers in the other. "I didn't know what to do. And it seemed like a good idea at the time."
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Juliet Burke
original islander.
It's Very Stressful Being an Other
Posts: 40
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Post by Juliet Burke on Dec 4, 2008 7:45:46 GMT -5
Juliet was actually smiling, genuinely, as he laughed. It was nice seeing him lighten up, and not be weighed down by all the things he blamed himself for. "Seems I went to the wrong highschool then." Juliet joked, still with little variation in her tone, the smile being the only give away that she wasn't being serious.
Raising the steaming cup she inhaled the aroma, keeping it set there for a moment, while she watched him. Something about watching him was so..she really couldn't peg the feeling. Little did he know that she watched him from more than behind the glass. On occasion she'd trade shifts to watch the monitors, just to get to watch him sleep. Rumors had begun to spread among the Others that she was growing attached to Jack. Many people seemed to even think there was something there. Even Ben. Especially Ben. Had he not needed her to get Jack's trust, she was sure that Ben would have gotten a replacement immediately. Of course Juliet had shrugged them off, denied the rumors. She even had herself convinced for a time.
"Jack.." Juliet began, brow creasing as she set the coffee down. "I know it's hard to let go...but he is gone. It's not your fault, or your burden, Jack. What happened to him, it had nothing to do with you. He made bad choices, and he paid for them. He's gone, and I think..I think you need to let him go, Jack." She was serious now, nearly stern. She hated seeing him like this, and she knew what kind of issues he had with his father. But she couldn't let him continue to self destruct over someone who was dead.
She felt herself tensing up as he said he didn't wish things were different, that he wouldn't have met Kate. Juliet wasn't the jealous type. If he made a choice, as much as it might pain her, she would respect his choice, and be happy for him. She'd harbor no ill will towards the other woman, but somehow, hearing him say her name, made her stomach sink to her knees. She hadn't really expected to replace or, steal the affection he had for her. But some part of her hoped she could share in it. But then she felt his hand on her's and froze. Entire body tensing up, her breaths became shallow and quick, increasing with her heart beat.
Juliet's eyes were fixated on Jack as he spoke, feeling a sever need to get away. She was so torn. Part of her was lost in the moment, wanting to dive deeper, and take advantage of all the love she felt for him. The other part was more afraid than she could remember ever being in a very long time. She didn't want him to get close. She couldn't handle the idea of anything happening to him, and it would be even harder if she let herself get closer. But god. She wanted to. She wanted to feel his kiss once more, to feel his embrace, and feel as if she was the only thing that mattered. Just once. She wanted to be wanted.
"Jack, I--" Juliet began in a soft whisper, faltering, pausing as he spoke again. What was he saying...Why was she losing it. She couldn't lose it. She was the one who had to stay in control. Closing her eyes for a few moments, and taking a deep breath, Juliet opened her eyes again, only to see the exact same thing as before. Jack. In all his imperfections, in all his..perfection.
A small smile found its way through the apprehension on her face, but faded quickly as she spoke herself. Her hand remained still, glued to the counter, refusing to let herself give in to her own wants. She had to stop this...she had to...get him off this track.
"Sometimes...in the moment decisions...can...they don't always turn out the way we want..." What was she saying again? She could feel within that she'd already lost. Something in her refused to push Jack out or keep him at bay. "Sometimes." she finished in a bare whisper, as she watched his hand on hers. Slowly she let her hand raise, and laced her fingers with his, and lifted her eyes to his.
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Dec 4, 2008 13:32:34 GMT -5
"Jack..."
She said his name sternly, and Jack found himself glancing at her before he looked back at the table again. She said his father wasn't his cross to bear. That it had nothing to do with him. "It had everything to do with me, it--"
"I think you need to let him go, Jack."
"Easier said than done."
Christian Shephard wasn't exactly the man you just forgot. He wasn't something you just pushed to the side...moreso with what he had done to Jack. And Jack knew that Christian knew it; he had told him in his own way that he didn't want him fucking up like he had if he ever had a kid. Maybe that's why Sarah had never gotten pregnant. Maybe God knew that Jack would fail.
Her hand was soft and warm, and he tried to simply focus on that. Maybe she was right. All of this was eating him alive. He couldn't think about it anymore--
"Jack, I--"
Jack's brows narrowed in slight confusion as he looked up, seeing her close her eyes. He took a chance, then, to watch her face. He remembered he had studied it when he had first met her, tried to see her weaknesses so he could escape. He had seen the way she looked at him...he knew he could twist her trust. But he didn't find himself wanting to do it after the incident with the broken plate. He mentally kicked himself then; he had wanted to ask her if he had hurt her. He hadn't meant to, he was just desperate. He couldn't be in that cage. And then she had dropped the bombshell about Sarah. He had remembered wanting to curl into himself. He remembered pressing his back against into the corner like some scared animal, sobbing until he felt himself dry. He remembered staring blankly at the wall, wondering if this was how it was going to end. He remembered how she had lingered in the room, watching him with almost a look of sadness.
He remembered how he had seen it without her noticing. The fact that she had watched him hadn't gotten lost on Jack. The fact that he could feel her eyes on him as he laid down on the cool steel of the Hydra, see with eyes closed in that place where sleep and awake meet. He remembered seeing the camera move on more than one occasion, and he had a strange feeling that it hadn't been Ben behind the controls.
"Sometimes...in the moment decisions...can..."
Jack's eyes focused on her lips. Maybe it was just exhaustion. Maybe it was desperation. Maybe it was loneliness, but something made him cross the small space between him with his free hand, brushing a strand or two of blonde hair from her face. His body moved, lifting slightly from the chair to lean over. His lips inches from hers, he could feel her breath hot on his lips as his tongue darted out to lick suddenly dry ones. Close enough that lips brushed from that action.
"He knows where to find me."
He knows. You know. The words from his previous conversation felt like a whirlwind, so much so that his hand tightened along her neck, pulling her in to press his lips against hers. A shaky breath came from his nose, breaking the silence of the kitchen and somewhere outside, a car horn blared. As hand moved from her grip, it knocked over the coffee cup, sending both cup and liquid crashing to the floor in a mixture of a splash and a crash. Pulling away slightly from the sudden sound, both hands were on either side of her head as he watched her, unsure if she was going to leave or tell him that this was a by-product of too much alcohol and pills and lack of sleep. It was a need that she couldn't give him.
"Juliet..." but the words refused to come out more than a whisper, getting caught tight in the pit of his throat as the smell of spilt coffee lingered around the room.
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Juliet Burke
original islander.
It's Very Stressful Being an Other
Posts: 40
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Post by Juliet Burke on Dec 6, 2008 2:51:15 GMT -5
Juliet
Somewhere in the far off..somewhere, she heard his voice. However she was far too lost in the aftermath, so to speak, of his kiss. Her eyes had not yet willed themselves to open, and her breaths were slow, and deep. She smelled coffee, and knew somewhere something had spilled, but everything was a bit hazy.
Slowly her eyes finally fluttered open, locking almost instantly on Jacks. Jack. He was still there, looking at her. It almost looked like he was pleading silently. Her throat felt dry so she attempted to swallow. Blinking a few times she pulled slowly out of his grip. More for her own sanity than any sort of discomfort.
"Jack..." She whispered, "I -- " Frowning a words failed her, Juliet knelt to her knee's and began picking up the ceramic pieces of mug off the floor. Thankful for the distraction to keep her mind off of Jack, and to convince herself that she could not let it go any farther. No matter how much she ached for it to, the whole reason she was even here was because Jack was out of it. He wasn't making good judgment calls. She did not want to be something he regretted.
"Jack I think that I should go." Juliet said calmly from where she was crouched on the floor, placing another shard gently in her hand. "I.." Daring a glance up at him, she brushed away a fly away hair. "You should get some rest."
There. She was being responsible, she was caring for him. She was doing the right thing. However as her stomach sank and her heart felt like it was right there with it, she had to wonder if the right thing would always feel this way. This...sickening.
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Dec 6, 2008 3:19:50 GMT -5
What the hell had he just done?
Sitting there, palms flat on the table, he barely registered that she had moved away from him. Left tasting air instead of her lips, Jack's eyes slowly wandered down, seeing her pick up broken coffee cup shards from the tiled kitchen floor.
"Jack I--"
His mouth opened, and he tried to reply. He was reminded of a time seemingly eons ago, when Sarah had been in the hospital after the car crash. After the realization that she was able to walk. He had visited her every day, checked her progress. He had become obsessed with seeing her to health again. He was going to make her dance, he told himself over and over again. It had been a time in the physical therapy room, where Sarah had frustratedly told the nurses that she couldn't do it. She was just a cripple. She couldn't do it, so leave her alone. He remembered kneeling in front of her wheelchair. He remembered seeing her tears and knowing he wanted to kiss every single one of them away. You can do this, he had told her. He had took her hands his own. He had lifted her up, put on the brave face for her...and nearly cried as she took a step. He had kissed her then, hands gripping, holding her up.
Without thinking, he had crossed the line.
"Jack, I think that I should go."
His thoughts were broken as he heard her words. But it hadn't been like Sarah, he told himself. She hadn't been...it hadn't been the same, it...
What had it been? Why did he suddenlly want to be everything to her and nothing all at the same time? Why did suddenlly her arms seem like they could take away the fear and the pain and regret? Why did it seem so easy suddenly? Floodgates were open, but how? Why? And would it end up drowning him in the end?
"Let me help you." Jack told her, his voice soft as he bent down to try to help her pick up the peices. However, as he did, his head spun and his hand shot out, grabbing onto Juliet's shoulder, the other grabbing onto the table. "I-I think--I think I need to lay down. Before I puke."
It was then that Jack hated that his house had stairs. Somehow, he had managed to stand, Juliet's arms firmly around him as he made his way towards the spare downstairs bedroom. Jack hadn't remembered it being used in years by anyone other than himself, the last time probably when his aunt and uncle used to stay over, and that had been years ago. The decor, as much of the Shephard House, was darker, a mix of blues and browns, creating a calming, almost ocean effect in the room. Jack had slept in the room the first night he had gotten back; it had been too much to try to walk up the stairs. Too exausting.
Turning to her, calfs hitting the bed, Jack brought his hands up, pressing them against her cheeks. Maybe it was the drugs, part of his mind told himself. Maybe it was all the shit that had happened.
Maybe he just needed this to stay sane. This last thing to keep him from falling.
He felt himself lean in, kissing her again, though it was less urgent than before. Less rushed, less pleading and yet still all the more painful. Pulling away slightly, lips still close, he kept his eyes close. Would she disappear when he opened his eyes? "Stay with me."
Though he said 'stay with me' he knew somewhere deep down that he meant 'save me from myself' because Jack knew inside that if he tried to save himself, he'd destroy himself. Any good that was left inside him would be gone. A shell. Fingertips ran through her hair, and he shook his head slightly, eyes tighter closed. "Just--just stay with me, please. I know if you leave I'll just find more reasons to blame myself and--and then I'll start drinking and sooner or later it's going to be the last time and--" he found the words caught in his throat. "And I don't want there to be a last time, yet. I've--I've come to far for there to be a last time and I know that if that happens...I know it'll hurt you. And that's the last thing I want to do, Juliet, is hurt you. So--so just...just stay."
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Juliet Burke
original islander.
It's Very Stressful Being an Other
Posts: 40
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Post by Juliet Burke on Jan 12, 2009 21:43:48 GMT -5
Juliet's breath was caught in her chest, where her heart seemed to be beating so loudly it made her ear's throb. Jack's hands were still about her face, his own face not two inches away. Juliet swallowed dryly, trying not to let herself give in. He was drunk, he was drugged, he was pretty much not himself.
At the same time, he'd never been so open to her, she wasn't sure what to make of it, really. Moving her hands to his wrists, resting on them slightly, she pulled his hands away so that she could get a good look at him. "Jack, you need your rest," she said calmly, "me staying...it wont..."
Juliet paused as he ran a finger through her hair, causing her own eyes to close. This was not right, she shouldn't be feelings this way, she shouldn't be this..tempted. Her eyes opened again, full of sadness as he plead once more. His words stinging like burning needles in her heart, making it nearly impossible for her to keep her head above water. When he finished, she simply sighed, smiling lightly, although his still closed eyes couldn't see it, "alright," she said softly. "I'll stay. But Jack, you have to promise me, that you won't do anything like this again." Her tone was soft, but clearly chiding, "I can't always be there to make sure you'll be okay. Kate, can't always be there. You need to be more careful Jack. People who love you, they need you, and taking drugs you don't need, and drinking is not the best way to help them." A small smile formed over her lips as she stood up, and guided Jack into a laying position on the bed. She untied his shoes, and dropped them on the floor, coming back up to the head of the bed.
"Now, you try to sleep.." Gently her hands pushed the hair off of his forehead, as she smiled down at him. "I'm going to go get another cup of coffee...just in case." Juliet knew what he wanted, but she also new what he needed, and that was someone to watch over him. She kissed his head, and slowly stood, gaze lingering on him. He looked weak, she didn't like seeing him like this, but still, underneath it all, under that scraggly beard, and the hazy eyes, he was still him. Still the man she had fallen in love with. Still the man whose heart she'd never truely have.
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Jan 13, 2009 1:33:32 GMT -5
"Me staying...it wont..."
"It will." Why couldn't she see that it would? He didn't need rest. He was sure at the rate he was going, permanent rest would come sooner than he thought. However, when she said she would stay, a relieved breath escaped his lips, fresh tears coming to the surface of his eyes. "Thank you." However, his brows narrowed when she asked him to promise that he wouldn't do anything like this again. She wouldn't always be there. Kate wouldn't always be there...of course they wouldn't, but of course, Jack was taking the only way he knew; he tried to drown the pain away in any sea that he could find. Her hands were against his, leading him to the bed, and he sat down, suddenly more tired than he had ever been in his entire life. As he laid his head down on the bed, he felt her move to take off his shoes, and he wanted to tell her to stop, that she didn't have to, but it came out as a mumble.
"Now you try to sleep. I'm going to go get another cup of coffee, just in case."
Her lips touched his forehead, and he felt his eyes close. "N-no." Hands moved, grabbing onto her hands as she stood up. "Don't--" his mouth suddenly felt dry, and he swallowed to try to wet it once more. "Don't get the coffee."
Even through his tired state, somehow he managed to pull her down onto the bed, and his arms slid around her waist. Fingertips found their way around to the small of her back, and he traced the healed burn with his finger. Instantly, he was reminded of something his brain had not let him remember on the Island. Things had happened too quick, he had almost died, people *had* died...there had just been no time to remember such an act. But now, he did. He remembered walking to his door in New Otherton. He remembered laughing slightly at something she had said; the words were all a blur, but he remembered that it made him smile and look down at the dirt. He remembered asking her if she wanted a drink, but as she she entered his home, as the video cameras by the door captured her face and then his own, he admitted to her that he wasn't sure what exactly he had in his fridge.
The bottle had said DHARMA wine. Jack remembered laughing, raising an eyebrow and telling her that he wondered what year it was from. Juliet had said probably at least 15. Popping the cork off the bottle, Jack had grabbed two glasses from the cupboard, and poured the dark-red liquid.
They were going home.
Well, I'd only break out the best. He remembered laughing when he took a drink, and telling her it tasted like battery acid. But the bottle had all been drunk within seemingly ten minutes, and somehow they had talked about what they missed from home. Jack remembered he told her he missed the sound of Los Angeles in midday rush. He missed the sounds of the hospital. He missed his bed. He told her he missed his bathroom, because he still had the soap Sarah used, and he told her how he hated himself for keeping it. She told him that her ex-husband had sex in the fertility lab with his assistant, and Jack laughed drunkenly and told her that he sounded like a complete and utter asshole, and the assistant sounded like a slut who's panties would drop at the word Doctor. He'd seen it before. But that was his professional opinion.
Somewhere between memories of past lovers and laughter, broken hearts and barely breathing tales of amusement, beneath the cameras that watched their every move, Jack remembered that they had kissed. In the back of his mind, Jack had remembered that there was a camera in every room, and he remembered muttering it to her between kisses. He remembered that somehow, they ended up in the bedroom. He remembered kissing every inch of her body. He remembered how he traced the mark on her lower back with his tongue and mentally cursed himself for being the one that gave it to her. He remembered how she had once told him that the walls in New Otherton's houses were paper thin, and he remembered how he told her yell. That he didn't care, he wanted them to hear.
They could all go to hell, because they were going home. They were doing this. Together. To hell with you, Ben. To hell with your stupid Island, to hell with your pathetic twisted need to control. You couldn't control this, Jack remembered thinking. His fingers controlled everything, he could flick any switch on her body and he wouldn't bring the Island down, no, but he'd made sure to send her far away from the Island, somewhere near the stars. He played her strings her like a piano with all the grace that had forgotten he had, and he told himself over and over again that they were going home.
As he remembered all of this, the memories of the night bringing a slight smile to his lips, the smile was replaced with a slow frown as he remembered the most important part of the entire experience. It wasn't the way that he buried his face into the crook of her neck, the way he realised his hands fit perfectly onto the curve of her hips, it wasn't the sound of his name falling off her lips like a rushed prayer...it was the way she wasn't there when he had woken up.
"Why did you leave?" His head was pressed against the crook of her neck, and he felt tired...but he couldn't sleep. His mouth was too dry and he was too exhausted to be able to close his eyes and sleep. "That night in the Barracks. I woke up and you were gone. Why."
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