Charlie Pace
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I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 17, 2008 13:24:10 GMT -5
"Bless me father, it's...it's been four years since my last confession."
The church had been large, much to Charlie's surprise. Two confessionals lined the wall, and both were open. Empty. Waiting for him to go in and spill his secrets. Charlie wasn't sure if he was shaking from the cold or from the feeling in his body. The confessional booth was small, clastrophobic and it smelled overly of both roses and pine-sol, yet it was the only place Charlie could think of to be. His heart was racing, hands shaking, and Charlie tried to still them by folding them in prayer, setting them onto the small ledge in front of him. He could see the outline of a man sitting in the both oppasite him.
"Four years, my son? My, my. Four years is a long time."
"Yeah, Father, I...I'm in--I was in a band, y'see. DriveShaft. We, uh...we broke up 2 years ago. More than two years ago, actually.." Charlie said, and he took in a breath. "They said I died, Father."
The Priest brought his hands up, steepling his fingers on his chin as he listened. "They said?"
"The, uh...the doctors. I'm here because--" Charlie stopped, staring at the black meshed screen and the outline of the figure behind it. "I'm here because I've lost myself, Father."
"We all often lose ourselves and our way in life. The Lord will show you a path--"
"That's just it, Father. I don't--I don't know if I can follow that path. I-I mean, it's been three hours since I've had a methadone dose and already my hands are shaking. I-I can taste it in the back of my throat a-and I hate myself for thinkin' that way 'cause I know it almost killed me. And now that I can't have it, it's driving me mad. I'm--I've had dreams of little---little tiny statues of the Virgin Mary floating away in the ocean. And there's---there's a woman--"
"My son," the priest began calmly. "the Lord has laid out a path for everyone. The devil places obsticles in front of us. The strong--"
"That's just it, Father! I'm *not* strong." Charlie said frustratedly. "I'm--I'm not strong. I'm weak. I-I know I'm weak. My brother, Liam--he's strong. So much stronger than me and I know that I'm just a burden on him right now. I'm a mess that he has to clean up."
"Your brother sounds like a wise and caring man. He cares for you, my son. This is why he's here."
"He's a bastard." Charlie said, and then looked down sharply. "Uh, sorry, Father." he quickly said, and then took in a breath, sighing out. "But he's right. I know he's right. He's got a little girl. Megan." Charlie felt tears well up in his eyes as he thought of Megan. "I can't lie to her." he said, his voice thick. "But--but I can't keep letting her see this."
"My son, I know this is hard. I know this because I have seen so many people in your situation come through these halls, sit in that booth you're sitting in, and tell me they cannot do it. But strength...the Lord places strength in each of us. We may not know it's there, but it is, always. You have to look inside yourself and find it."
Charlie sniffed in, moving to brush the tears away with his hand. "I don't know if I want to look inside myself. I'm--I'm afraid I won't see anything anymore. I'm afraid if I look inside myself I'll see what I've become--nothing."
"If you believe you are nothing, then nothing is what you'll become."
"I'm so tired, Father. I'm tired and I'm lonely and...and I feel like I'm missing out on something wonderful because I'm just sitting here. I can't--I want so much to just let go. To float away."
"Let me tell you something surely, my son. The Lord gives us teathers. Lifelines that we must hold onto tightly to keep our ground. You say you have lost yours, my son, but I believe they're still there. Your eyes have just been shut. It is time to open your eyes, and look at the faces that will save you. These dreams you speak of...perhaps these are the Lord showing you your angels."
Charlie felt a sigh escape his lips. "I wish they would just hurry up and show themselves. I'm gettin' tired of waiting."
"Patience, my son. Patience is a virtue." The priest said with a slight laugh. "Five Hail Mary's and Three Our Fathers--"
"But I'm not done, Father."
"The Lord was watching, my son. Go with God."
Charlie slipped out of the booth, moving to the entrence of the church as he dipped his fingers into the small bowl of holy water. Making the sign of the cross, he exited the church. The hallway was quiet, hardly a soul until Charlie frowned, seeing Libby. He was torn between wanting to run away, to make sure that she didn't see him, and to run to her and hug her. He swallowed down the fear and the shame, and spoke.
"Libby, love!"
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Libby
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Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 17, 2008 19:17:03 GMT -5
Although Christmas had passed, the whole city was still awash with colourful lights and decorations although the jolly spirit was fading. In fact, jolly was the last thing Libby was feeling right now considering where she was currently sitting. The hospital. God, she hated hospitals. She hated the lack of colour, she hated the sounds and she hated the feeling in the air. The mental hospital had been different, they had tried to use soothing colours in the rooms and comforting decorations, but the feeling was the same. Everyone looking either hopeful or hopeless, the staff looking at everyone else like they might break. She hated it. She hated being here. She wished she wasn’t here.
She had to be here.
She had promised herself that she would help him. She had let him down before and she would not do it again. Charlie needed her. He needed a friend, someone to help him through the pain she knew was coming, and Libby had vowed to herself to be that friend. She would not let this happen to him again.
Walking nervously into the hospital, she had asked the receptionist for Charlie’s room and made her way there as quickly as possible. The less time she had to spend here the better, but she knew it would all be alright as soon as she was with Charlie. Rounding the corner in the hallway, she saw his room just as he was exiting it. It was far too silent to call out, so she followed him. She followed him down the hallway until he disappeared through two much larger doors. Hesitating a moment, she opened them, her eyes widening slightly at the impressive church hidden within. Hundreds of candles lit the alter, each one set ablaze by a grieving or hopeful person praying for a loved one.
Watching Charlie vanish into one of the small confessionals, Libby waited a moment before backing out again and closing the door quietly behind her, giving him the peace and privacy he required. This was good, a great first step. Whether he sought help from a friend or from a higher power, at least he was talking to someone. She couldn’t help the slightest tinge of jealousy, though, that that someone wasn’t her this time.
Yes, because that did wonders for him last time.
Ignoring the sarcastic voice in her head, Libby settled herself on a chair down the hallway to wait. Setting the parcel she carried on the floor by her feet, she unconsciously rubbed the wrist brace she wore. Although she used it for its intended purposes, to help her sprained wrist, it had a much more important purpose as well. It helped to hide the bandage that covered the cut she had inflicted upon herself. The bandage was bulky beneath the brace and the pressure irritated the wound, but nobody would ever be the wiser.
Some time passed where she did little more but sit and stare straight ahead, her mind wandering, until she was suddenly broken from her reverie by the familiar sound of Charlie’s voice. Smiling genuinely, she got to her feet, brushing her now red bangs from her eyes a bit self consciously.
“Hey, Charlie,” she greeted, unsure how to approach him. Would it be appropriate to offer a hug, or would that be too awkward? Unable to decide, she stayed put.
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 18, 2008 14:43:02 GMT -5
Red. Her hair was red. Red suited her, but then again, anything suited her. Charlie moved to her, shoving his hands in his back pockets for a second as he watched her. "Hiya, love." he told her, but found himself looking down at the blinding white tile. Would she hate him? She had said hello to him, that meant she still wanted to be in the same vacinity as him...
"I--" he started, looking from the floor to her face, and his brows furrowed slightly. He wanted to tell her that he was fine, that it was just an accident, but Charlie wasn't sure anymore if it had been an accident. He moved his sleeves over his hands, clenching the material as his teeth clenched and unclenched, barely holding his face from twisting into a sob. "I'm..I'm sorry."
Before he knew it, he filled the gap between them, wrapping his arms around her tightly. A sigh escaped his lips, shaky and barely holding back tears. "You--you have to believe me." he said forcefully, surely. "I-I didn't--I wasn't trying to--" he clenched his eyes slightly. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen, love. I swear to you, I didn't mean for this to happen, I just--I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I couldn't deal with another Christmas alone, I couldn't deal with--I couldn't deal with it anymore. I didn't mean to do it. They want to keep me here and I just want to go home."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 21, 2008 18:09:54 GMT -5
Charlie looked so confused, so completely and utterly lost that Libby felt her heart just break for him. She wanted to just wrap her arms around him and tell him that everything would be alright, but she didn’t want to push him, and she didn’t want to risk scaring him off. If he wasn’t ready for that yet, if he just wanted to pretend for a while then she could oblige at least long enough to lift his spirits.
Apparently, though, he was ready. Before Libby even had time to react to his apology, no matter how unwarranted, she found herself swept up in his tight embrace. Immediately she returned it, holding him as tightly as he held her, like a lifeline, and closed her eyes.
His words seemed to be contradictory. He wasn’t trying to yet he couldn’t deal with being along anymore. Contradictory, but she felt like she understood. It had been an accident, and the way he went through the drugs, even as little as she saw him, it was only a matter of time before it became too much. He had been trying to escape another holiday alone, and it had just been one hit too many. It was an accident. She understood completely. Even if her ‘accidents’ had been intentional, she still felt like she understood. She knew the pain of being alone, knew it all too well. Ever since David’s death, there had been nobody, they had all accused her and abandoned her, and she wasn’t about to do the same to Charlie.
“Shh, I know,” she said soothingly, rubbing her good hand up and down his back. Her other hand she let lay against the back of his skull, her fingers threaded slightly in his hair. “I know you didn’t. And we’ll get you out of here as soon as we can. And you never have to be alone. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there, ok? Anytime. Always.”
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 22, 2008 2:48:49 GMT -5
He knew he wasn't making sense. He'd admit it fully that he knew he wasn't making sense. However, as Libby held him, Charlie felt the tears come freely once again. He wished he could stop crying. He wished he could stop hating himself and stop being so bloody emotional and yet, with all the different medications coursing through his veins (none of them ones he truely wanted or needed) Charlie knew that his emotions would be a rollercoaster until his body purged the toxins from it. A shaky breath escaped his lips, and he clenched his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears.
Libby's hand on the back of his neck, her fingers in his hair, it was comforting. Liam, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't be there for Charlie. Sure he could tell him that it was going to be okay, he could hold his hand and tell him that he was there for him, but...Charlie needed contact. He couldn't simply take Charlie into his arms and hold him, but Libby...
Charlie couldn't remember a time since Lucy that he had just held someone. No physical attachments between places, just arms and silence and peace. He wasn't attracted to Libby in the way he had been attracted to so many of the others. Libby...Libby wasn't like the others. She didn't want sex just because of who he was, she didn't want time between the sheets...she wanted to be there for him. That was it. It was strange yet very very wonderful. Safe. Comfortable.
Charlie brought a hand up, pressing it against Libby's cheek as he moved his head back enough to place his forehead against hers. "Tell them--" he started, and then swallowed thickly to speak again, "Tell them that you're my shrink a-a-and you think I should get out of here! You're--You're a psychologist! Tell them you're my doctor a-and you want me to go home!" Charlie pulled back, pressing a hand against his growing headache. "They're keeping me in there, they--they kept me in sodding STRAPS because they said I was at risk for doin' myself in. Can you believe that! They kept me in bloody restraints because they thought I'd KILL myself!" He found himself laughing, but it ended in a frown. "If I had wanted to kill myself I would have done it long ago." However, Charlie knew the pain and simple truth. He had been slowly killing himself for years.
He looked down, wiping harshly at his eyes before he noticed a package under Libby's feet. "Better be careful," Charlie said, motioning to the package with one hand as he wiped his eyes with the other. "Y'don't wanna step on that."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 22, 2008 17:50:26 GMT -5
Feeling the warm tears start to soak through the shoulder of her shirt, Libby fought to keep her own emotions in check. It wasn’t too hard when he wasn’t looking at her; it was when he pulled back - his hand on her face, his forehead against hers, their eyes level – that she struggled. She had told him she was a psychologist, a lie she had used many times on many different people. Even though she wasn’t, she knew she could do the job better than half the quacks that held a degree. Some days, she even believed her own lie. How else would she know as much as she did about the human psyche, and the ins and outs of an institution? Some days there was no other explanation that made sense. Some days she was a psychologist.
Sadly, today was not one of those days. She could easily grasp onto the lie, and could make it very believable, but if they asked to see some sort of credentials, then she could end up making his situation worse. She just couldn’t bear being the cause of any of his pain.
“Charlie, I... I haven’t practised for a few years, and if they tried to confirm the information...” she started trying to make excuses. But who could they possibly confirm with? She doubted they would bother to dig deep enough to find that she didn’t hold a degree anywhere. And he was Charlie Pace. Certainly that counted for something, didn’t it? She could tell them she was his private psychologist and he could pull the celebrity card, threatening to get someone fired if they didn’t release him into her custody or something similar. It could work...
Luckily Charlie’s attention shifted before Libby had to make a decision. Looking down at the present still laying at her feet, she smiled a bit crookedly. Backing slowly out of the embrace, she stooped to pick it up.
“I know it’s a little late, but...” She held the gift out to him. “I hope the road to recovery can be paved with creativity as well. Merry Christmas, Charlie.”
The package was rectangular in shape, obviously a book, but not the kind that can be bought in a store. Libby had constructed a notebook with alternating pages. Half the pages were of normal, lined notebook paper while the other consisted of blank scales for writing music. In the very back were a smaller number of white pages for sketches, and the entire thing was bound in a leather like vinyl.
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 22, 2008 20:34:58 GMT -5
Libby backed out of the embrace, and Charlie cleared his throat, bringing a hand to press up against his forehead. Libby spoke and Charlie's brows fell slightly as she said it was a little late. His eyes widened slightly and his mouth opened.
Don't take it. Don't take it. You don't deserve it after what you did. You don't deserve anything after the people you hurt--
Charlie took the package with both hands, looking down at it with a frown. "Libby, I uh," he started, and glanced up at her. Her eyes were eager, wanting him to open the package. He moved, opening the package slowly, almost sadly, until he saw the book. His mouth opened in slight shock. "Libby," he said, however, he wasn't able to say much more. "I don't--I-I can't take this, I don't--" He looked up at her, his eyes filling slightly with tears. "I don't know what to say. I-I mean, after--after everything that I did, I can't--"
He opened the pages, fingers running across the pages with a frown, however, a smile spread on his face. "Really. Really, love, you didn't---it's just too much." Charlie told her, almost overwhelmed as to what to say. "I-I mean, it's--it's perfect but...but I don't deserve it. You shouldn't have."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 22, 2008 20:57:44 GMT -5
The anticipation as she awaited Charlie’s reaction to the gift had Libby feel like the one opening a present. She had thought hard about what to give him for a gift, but reminiscing over their time spent together, it hadn’t taken long for her to decide on what she felt was the perfect gift.
His reaction did not disappoint. Feeling relieved, but also sad that he felt so undeserving, she just smiled at him. “You do deserve it and it’s not too much,” she insisted. It could never be enough. There was no way he could know how much his friendship meant to her, and how little she would have without him. She couldn’t go on without him. If she lost him... there would be no mistake, no backing out next time.
“Besides, you have to take it. I don’t write music and it’ll just go to waste.”
If this meant so much to him, she only wished she could be there to see his face when he received his main gift, but that one had to arrive anonymously.
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 23, 2008 0:24:06 GMT -5
Smiling through the tears, Charlie felt a breath escape his lips as he listened to Libby speak. Tears dripped from his eyes, and he brought a hand up to wipe his eyes. "I guess, but still, you shouldn't have. Honestly." he told her, and then brought a hand up, pressing it against her cheek before he moved, kissing her cheek lightly. "Thank you, lovely."
He moved, taking her hand before he felt a sigh escape his lips. "It's brilliant. Thank you." he told her again, before he felt himself take in a breath. There were people watching, whispering and Charlie felt his brows narrow. They were whispering abut him. Of course, Charlie wasn't sure if they were whispering about him, but paranoia had overcome him. Of course they were whispering about him. Charlie looked back towards the church, and he took her hand. "Come on." he told her, leading her into the church. The dimly lit church held safety to it, even if it was just the silence of it. He moved, sitting down in one of the pews.
Looking over at Libby, he felt a sigh escape his lips before he looked at the alter, the big giant figure of christ on the cross along with the holy mother behind it. "You know, the last time I was in a church was when my mother died." he said after a moment, his voice softer in the confines of the church. "It's peaceful. Quiet. Not like out there. Liam always thought I was mad for wanting to stay in the church...but here...no one judges you. Everyone that comes in here, they've all done something so no one looks at you like they feel sorry for you."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 23, 2008 18:38:42 GMT -5
Surprised when Charlie leaned in and kissed her cheek, Libby quickly got over it and closed her eyes, savouring the moment. She had felt her heart skip, but not in the same way as it had for David when they had first met. With Charlie it was just a little crush and most women would probably get that same star struck, idolising feeling in the same situation. But it wasn’t really about that either. With Charlie, she was just so grateful to have someone like him that treated her so well and seemed to genuinely care about her. It meant a lot; it meant everything.
Even after he pulled away, it took Libby a moment to realize his discomfort. Opening her eyes to look around, she saw the way people were staring at them. Of course, he was a celebrity after all. She shouldn’t have come. The last thing he needed was to give them a new scandal to plaster over the papers. She knew what they would say. They would imply some sort of tawdry romance between him and some mysterious, older redhead. The very idea of it made Libby feel sick. What they had was beautiful, pure, and she couldn’t stand the thought of them sullying it, making it something dirty and untruthful. They would find out who she was, and dig up all the dirt on her. They would expose her and Charlie... he would know. He would know about her and he would hate her like everyone else. The world would destroy them, she knew they would, so she didn’t argue when Charlie took her hand and led her into the church. Away from their accusing eyes and dirty thoughts.
She had little time to be relieved, though. Churches made her uncomfortable. Maybe it was safe here from those who would ruin her, them, but she always felt like she was being watched. All the statues with their sightless eyes looked right through her to her damaged soul. They saw through her lies and deception when sometimes even she couldn’t. They tore her down and left her bare... but this wasn’t about her. This was about Charlie, and helping him, and if he felt at peace here then maybe she could learn to find that as well.
The quiet she could appreciate, though. She loved the silence, that secret, hushed silence that could be found in so few public places. Yes, she could get use to this. She could learn to love it as he did.
“It is very peaceful,” Libby agreed, giving Charlie’s hand a comforting squeeze. She knew he cared for his brother, deep down, but the animosity between them would not go away overnight. “How are you feeling, Charlie? How are you really feeling?”
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 23, 2008 21:30:21 GMT -5
He could hear the stillness of the church, the in and out inhailes and exhailes of his own breathing, until Libby's voice broke the silence, soft and hushed. How are you feeling, Charlie? How are you REALLY feeling?
Charlie felt his throat grow thick, and he swallowed trying to remove the tightness. "I, um," Charlie started, his voice near a whisper. He felt the chills traveled across his body, and he shivered, bringing his arms around his body. He leaned his head against the pew, pressing his forehead against it with a harsh sigh. A laugh escaped his lips, however, it wasn't happy. It was frustrated. It was sad. It was painful. It hurt to even breathe at times. "God, I don't know." he said in a slight frustrated groan. "I have moments where...where I'm alright. I'm even good. I'll be--I'll be playing with Megan and it'll be like none of this ever happened. I'm just in the hospital because I'm sick, I've got the flu or something." he told her, trying to stop the burning tears from his eyes. "And then--and then there's times that I wish I had died because the pain's so bad. It's so painful that I can't even breathe. I can't sleep at night because I'm shaking so bad I can't even hold a pencil. Karen had to hold a bucket under my head for a half an hour last night because I wouldn't stop throwing up. I-I see things that--that I know they're just hallunications but they look so real."
He clenched his eyes shut for a moment. "I can't do this. I'm not this strong, I-I can't--" he felt his stomach shift slightly, and he kept his eyes close. "People go to hell for killing themselves but there's moments that I wish I was dead so I could stop hurting." He sniffed in, grimacing at the pain before he coughed, feeling the burning in the back of his throat. "I just--I just feel I'd be better off dead sometimes. It'd be alot easier for everyone. They wouldn't have to worry whether they'd walk in and see me lying dead for god knows how long..."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 23, 2008 22:11:08 GMT -5
When Charlie leaned forward, Libby instinctively lay her hand on his back, stroking it gently and soothingly as he spoke. She knew how frustrating it could be, but it sounded like a normal cycle. There were always good days and bad days. There were the days when everything is fine and you just can’t understand all the precautions, and then there were the days when it was all too much and death seemed the better option. She understood all this too well, and was just opening her mouth to tell him that he could do this and that he was strong, but then he said it, and her words dried up and her hand stopped moving.
People go to hell for killing themselves. Killing themselves. Hell. People go to hell for killing themselves.
Snatching her hand back from him, she unconsciously wrapped it around her wounded wrist. The wound she had caused herself. The wound that would leave a scar, a reminder of her sin. It hadn’t been the first time, either. The time before she had almost succeeded, but they had saved her. Saved her body and her soul. Closing her eyes, she rolled her neck slightly, bringing her fingers up to run through her hair. They had locked her up for her crime, her sin, and now they were doing the same to Charlie. It wasn’t fair. His had been an accident. Even if he felt like he might have been better off dead, he hadn’t meant it. But if he had died...
Grimacing, her brow furrowed. Then she would be in hell right now, if there was such a place, because she would not have failed this time. But no, she didn’t want to think about that now. Ever. Bad thoughts. Bad. It was in the past.
“Don’t think like that,” Libby eventually got out, her voice sounding completely mellow and comforting as always. Over time she had perfected her lying skills, her voice holding no hidden emotions. “It would not be easier not having you in their lives.”
Life wouldn’t be worth living.
“You have a family that loves you, Charlie, and that want to help you. You can to this and you are strong. And in those moments when you’re feeling weak, let them be your strength. They won’t let you down, I promise.”
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 24, 2008 21:37:20 GMT -5
Charlie sniffed in, wiping his nose with his sleeve as Libby spoke about how he was wrong. Charlie knew that deep down, he'd never have the guts to kill himself. He'd never have the guts to put a gun to his head, or slice his wrists clean open and wait for death. All he did was walk to the edge whenever he took a hit...and he wasn't sure if the next time he took a hit, he wasn't sure if he would stay on solid ground. He laid his head on his arm for a moment as he looked over at her, and then caught site of the wrist brace. His brows furrowed slightly, and he sat up, fingers clenching the fabric of his sleeves unconciously. "What happened, love?"
He was reminded of what they had said. What he had heard them say about Libby. He had always defended Libby, told them 'So what? So what if she's crazy? She's nice and she's lovely and she's mine" but it hadn't made a difference. They still told them how crazy she was. How she used to do things to herself.
Charlie brought a hand up, fingers running across the brace. He wondered if she really did hurt her wrist or if there was something else. Charlie wasn't a stranger to hiding things. He wore long sleeves in the middle of summer for the simple fact. It was why Charlie had always said he had scratched himself raw when anyone asked why his arm was so red and scratched. Poison Ivy. Hives. Anything to keep the lie.
He looked up from the brace to Libby's face, a frown spreading slowly. "I didn't--" he started with a frown. "I didn't make you do that, did I?"
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 24, 2008 22:25:34 GMT -5
Giving Charlie time to think about what she said, Libby took a moment to gather her own thoughts and get herself back under control. When he finally spoke, it was not what she expected.
“What?” she asked in confusion, before he reached out to touch the brace on her hand. Her eyes widened and her heart sank when he asked if it was his fault.
He knew. Oh God, he knew. He knew it wasn’t just a simple sprain. He knew what she had done. He knew what she had done and that she had done it because of him. He was going to think it was all his fault, just as she had thought his... accident had been her fault. He knew and he was going to think they were all right about her. He was going to think she was crazy. But she wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t. It had been... it had been a mistake. She had stopped herself before it had gone too far. She had just been upset. It wasn’t his fault and she wasn’t crazy. She hadn’t meant it.
“This?” she asked, holding up her hand. Laughing lightly, she shook her head. Maybe she could still convince him. He had just asked, meaning he didn’t know. He couldn’t know yet. He wouldn’t know if she could help it. He didn’t need that on his conscious. She didn’t need him looking at her like that.
“Oh, no! No, it’s nothing! I just... someone trashed their room at work the other night and I sprained my wrist setting some furniture back up,” she lied, giving him her best reassuring smile.
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 25, 2008 12:36:23 GMT -5
Charlie knew that if he was mistaken, he'd be making a very large accusation. However, Charlie's last four years had been an entire cobweb of lies; it wasn't as if he was new at the art of covering deeds up. He looked down at the wrist brace, and ran his fingers on it. "You know...my dad used to ask me why I wore long-sleeves in the middle of summer. I must have been horribly hot." He tilted his head slightly as he looked at the brace. "I was. But I couldn't let them see what I had done."
He moved, taking the wristed hand in his own with a frown. He wanted to tell her that he didn't want her to hurt himself, he didn't want her to do it but he realised then that it would be horribly hypocritacal of him. Horribly and utterly hypocritical. But it didn't stop him from speaking. "Look," he told her, his voice barely above a whisper in the hushed church. "I-I've been...I've been thinking about alot of stuff, I--" he narrowed his eyes slightly and looked back down at the brace. "Whatever you are, whatever--" he looked up at Libby. "Whatever it is...I understand. Even if you don't think I do...I understand." he asked with a slight laugh, before looking from her wist to her face. "Just promise me somethin', and I'll promise you somethin'. Now--Now that everything's happened, I promise that I'll never--"
Never say never. Never ever say never.
He brought a hand up, pressing it against the bridge of his nose for a moment as he tried to figure out what he was trying to say. He opened his eyes, and brought a hand up, pressing it against her cheek. His thumb rubbed against her cheek for a brief moment as he watched her.
"We're a right pair of messes, aren't we?" he asked her with a sad smile. "At least we're together and we understand each other. The others...they--they don't understand. They'll never understand."
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