Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 27, 2008 11:53:57 GMT -5
His fingers felt like they were burning a hole right through the brace, like he could feel the cut beneath it. She wanted to snatch her hand away, insist that he was wrong and rush out of there, but something kept her from moving. There was no accusation in his voice while he spoke. There was no fear or disappointment. He wasn’t judging her. He knew. He believed them, believed them all, but he... he understood. He wasn’t judging. He cared. He really cared.
Closing her eyes tightly, Libby could feel the hot tears burning behind her lids. He wasn’t supposed to know. He was never supposed to know, but somehow it wasn’t so bad. He was still there, one hand in hers, the other on her cheek. Silently, she found herself pleading with him.
Don’t promise. Please don’t make me promise.
As much as she wanted his word that he would quit the drugs, that this would never happen again, she didn’t want him to make her a promise he couldn’t keep. She never wanted him to break a promise to her, and... she never wanted to break a promise to him.
Leaning her face into his touch, she could feel a few tears escaping beneath her lashes. She laughed suddenly, a strained and emotional sound. They certainly were a pair of messes. It’s what made them perfect together. He understood. He truly understood. He felt the same way that she did, that they needed each other, and that nobody else could possibly understand them they way they did each other.
“I’m so sorry, Charlie. I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t...” her voice choked up, cutting off her words.
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 27, 2008 18:26:44 GMT -5
His heart broke when her voice got tangled up in the tears. Charlie felt his mouth opening, but nothing came out as he shook his head. "It's--It's okay. It's just skin. It'll heal up just fine and--and you'll be fine. We'll both be fine 'cause we've got each other. That's all we need is people who really understand."
Charlie looked down at the brace, and he moved, shaking hands releasing the velcro that held it in place. The bulky brace moved and Charlie was left looking at the band-aid that covered it. A frown spread on his face. He moved his fingers across the band-aid, seeing the blood that had bled onto the band-aid, leaving a red thin line. "It's just skin." he repeated, and looked at her before moving, wrapping his arms around her. "Maybe some day we'll both be able to wear shirts that have short sleeves, yeah?" he asked with a slight smile and then pulled away from her only slightly. "I want you to have dinner with me. I want you to eat shitty hospital food with me. Liam needs to go home and be with his daughter like a proper family for a bit, but he wont leave me alone. He's convinced I have a stash somewhere even though he's went through my hospital room and my clothes over and over again. He'll leave if you're there."
The church doors opened, and Charlie's eyes immediatly snapped towards the sound. However, it wasn't a man with a camera, but simply a woman looking sad. Charlie nodded slightly to her in greeting and she smiled sadly back. Charlie looked over at Libby. "Did you hear about the people they found? Those lot from that Oceanic flight?"
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 29, 2008 10:10:00 GMT -5
Lowering her head, Libby squeezed her eyes shut even tighter but she couldn’t prevent the tears that were already rolling down her cheeks. All she could do was take a few short breaths so as they continued to fall, they would fall silently.
She felt his hands on the brace, the sound of the velcro releasing shattering the near silence of the church. She wanted to pull her hand back so badly, it was less real if he didn’t see, but she steeled herself and let him continue. Wincing when he removed the brace, she finally forced herself to dare a look at him. She could see his frown even through the tears that had finally slowed. Burying herself, hiding herself, in his embrace, she wrapped her arms tightly around him in turn, but it regretfully didn’t last long.
“Yes, some day,” she chuckled, a strange sound due to the thickness in her throat. Removing one arm from around him, she wiped her eyes, wincing again as a slight pain shot up her arm. “I really did sprain my wrist, though. It just happened to make a convenient excuse.”
This struck her as morbidly funny and she found herself smiling at him. A smile that only grew at the prospect of having dinner with him, even if it was only ‘shitty hospital food’.
“I’d love to stay,” Libby answered without hesitation, and there was no need to say more. His brother, for all his flaws and mistakes in the past, was really trying to do what was best for Charlie now. But he had his own life, a wife and daughter, that needed him as well and he couldn’t be here every hour of every day. Libby had nothing, and she could be here whenever she was needed. She had resolved to help Charlie. She had failed him before and she would not do it again. If her diet had to suffer for a few days then so be it.
Turning toward the door when it opened, Libby immediately fumbled for the wrist brace again. It was simply a grieving family member, precisely who one would expect to meet here, but soon enough the brace was back in place and her arms were no longer around the man beside her. He didn’t need the bad publicity, and she didn’t want to be drug into it.
Did you hear about the people they found? Those lot from that Oceanic flight?”
Oceanic Flight 815. That Oceanic flight. Libby suppressed a shudder as a face flashed in her memories, the man at the airport. Clenching her teeth, her hand unconsciously fell to her midsection as if expecting the phantom pain. In an odd way, he had possibly saved her. Had she boarded that flight she could have died in the crash, but she couldn’t feel grateful to him. Not after the fear, confusion and betrayal she had felt at the very sight of him. Not after the month she had spent in Santa Rosa because of him. She couldn’t... she couldn’t feel grateful to him. She... she hated... feared... he had... no... no, no, couldn’t think about him. Couldn’t... they would send her back. Screaming... she couldn’t... she was in a church! They would... no... it wasn’t... couldn’t... had to stop. Don’t think. Focus. Focus on Charlie. Lifeline. He understood. He... he was there. Focus.
Taking Charlie’s hand as casually as she could, Libby kept her eyes turned toward the front of the church, somewhat mesmerised by the dancing flames of hundreds of candles.
“You know, I was supposed to be on that flight?” she said.
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 29, 2008 10:55:03 GMT -5
Charlie brightened as Libby said she would stay for dinner. "Smashing! I'll tell Liam. I've told him about you so it's not like you're some random stranger." As the stranger entered the church, Charlie felt Libby jerk away from him, and he frowned slightly, watching as she fumbled at the brace. However, she calmed and slid her hand into his, and he met her gaze at the candles.
"You know, I was supposed to be on that flight?
Charlie looked over at her sharply, eyebrow arching in surprise. "Really?" he asked, actually surprised at her answer. He smiled slightly, sadly, and looked at the candles once more. "They kicked me off that flight." he told her with a strange sort of smile. He remembered how...livid he had been that they had kicked him off...and how frustrated he had been when he found out it had crashed. "They said I was too intoxicated to fly. They put me on the next flight. I--I remember being so...angry at Liam that I couldn't get on that flight. Hell, I think I was pissed off that I didn't die." He looked over at her with a slight smile. "Small world, eh?"
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 29, 2008 14:53:50 GMT -5
Libby felt a twinge of happiness when Charlie said he had told Liam about her, though she did worry a little about what exactly he had said. But it had to be good things if Liam would trust her to watch him. Certainly Charlie wouldn’t tell his brother the gossip all those... all the girls at work liked to spread around. He wasn’t like that, so she decided to just be happy about it.
When he said that he had been kicked off that very flight, it was Libby’s turn to look surprised. They were both supposed to be on that fated flight, yet both of them had missed it, and now they were both here, together. It was fate, there was no other explanation. They were meant to meet, to become friends and to help each other battle the personal demons that were threatening to tear them down. Everything had led up to this.
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you missed it,” Libby said, smiling over at him and squeezing his hand. “And I’m glad I missed it too.”
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on Apr 29, 2008 15:08:51 GMT -5
A breath escaped Charlie's lips in something of a laugh. "Yeah, I'm sorta glad I missed it, too. Y'hear they were stuck on an island for three months?" Charlie asked, shaking his head. "That would have--" Charlie felt himself scoff slightly. "I don't know what I would have done if I was stuck on an island. I would have gone completely and utterly barkin' mad were that to have happened to me."
Of course, maybe an island wouldn't have been the worst thing on the planet. No one would have known him, known what he had done...no one would have judged him. Charlie shook his head, dispelling the idea completely. "No, I couldn't have done it. I probably would have ended up killing someone."
"Could you imagine it?" he asked, looking over at Libby. "Bein' all alone out in the middle of the bloody ocean with no one but people you don't even know to keep you company? What happens if the people you turned out to crash-land with, what happens if they're all a bunch of prats? Or worse! They don't speak English! That would be horrible."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on Apr 30, 2008 17:52:09 GMT -5
It was a little ironic that the reason that Libby hadn’t ended up on the island was because she had gone “completely and utterly barkin’ mad” in the airport and they hadn’t let her on the flight. It was a little funny, actually. Maybe not ‘ha ha’ funny, but funny nonetheless. Maybe funny enough for a giggle.
Hearing Charlie describe it, though, it didn’t sound so bad. Alone on an island with a bunch of people that didn’t know her, that didn’t know what she was or what she had done. I could have been a fresh start. She could’ve been anyone, a doctor, a surgeon, a police officer, and nobody would have been the wiser. It could have been paradise, but paradise never lasts and she would have eventually found herself right back here, this time possibly without Charlie. It was a thought she couldn’t bear.
“Assuming we would have survived, it might have been nice for a while,” she admitted, only to him. “But there are far too many variables, and I can’t think it would have been enjoyable for long. Foraging for food, dealing with the injured and the panicked. I do feel bad for what they all must have gone through, but selfishly I’m glad I wasn’t there.”
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on May 7, 2008 23:53:05 GMT -5
"Yeah, it musta sucked, there's no denying that." Charlie commented, staring at the candles. Libby's hand was warm in his own, and he looked down at it silently for a moment, before looking back at her. "I mean, a plane crash. Bloody insane. And the people lived, too. You'd think--I mean, I see plane crashes all the time on the telly. A-And they all crash and, you know...things go boom." Charlie shrugged slightly. "Those people are real, you know...real heros. Or somethin'. Just the fact that they survived, y'know. Sodding amazing."
Charlie took in a breath, and let it out, standing up as he still held Libby's hand. "C'mon. I owe you somethin' for gettin' me this gift that you SO did not have to by the way," Charlie added with a grin. "And," Charlie said, his voice raising in mock excitement, "I get an allowance! It's about enough to buy half of nothin 'cause Liam's afraid I'll go buy drugs with it, but still...I think I could buy you a cup of tea with it?" he offered, and gave a slight tug on her uninjured arm.
"C'mon. You know you want to keep me company for a little while longer. But then again, I have you all to myself until visiting hours are over with, so you, darling, are stuck with me whether you like it or not."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on May 8, 2008 13:11:14 GMT -5
It was quite overwhelming to even think about it, and even if Charlie’s words were broken and confused, Libby didn’t think she could have described it better. A plane like that crashing in the ocean, or anywhere, and to have so many people survive it... it truly was amazing. A miracle.
Following Charlie’s lead, Libby got to her feet, but while she originally tried to protest that he didn’t need to et her a gift, she quickly conceded when she heard what he was proposing. She hadn’t bought him a present to get one in return, but because she had wanted to. But if what she received in return was time spent with him, that was a gift she would not refuse.
“I think I can handle that,” she laughed, his enthusiasm contagious. “I can think of worse places to be stuck, and a lot worse company to be stuck with.”
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on May 8, 2008 13:27:20 GMT -5
"Well, then," Charlie said, holding his arm out theatrically to let her out of the pew. "After you, mi'lady." he said in an overly done prim and propper accent. "Just a few steps down the hall and you shall taste the--you know, really horrible tea, come to think of it." The accent dropped into his normal one as he moved out of the pew after her. He grinned at her, moving to take her hand again as he peered out the staind glass door of the church, only to see no one. "Coast is clear." he told her, and pushed open the door, holding it open for Libby. "But," Charlie said as she exited and he followed. "Beggars are choosers not. Any port in the storm, I say, and...and I really need tea."
"And, hey! Good thing; it's between all the lunch and dinner people. Not alot of people in the room. Double plus for both of us." Charlie said and then grinned wider. "Hey, I rhymed."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on May 12, 2008 7:06:36 GMT -5
Smiling brightly at Charlie’s theatrics, Libby slipped out of the pew and took a few steps toward the door before stopping to wait for him to do the same. When he took her hand again, she curled her fingers around his and she felt at peace. Most people would say that it was this place, this church, but she knew it wasn’t.
“Thank you, kind sir,” she laughed, letting him lead her to the door. There were many people that would probably be upset that he made sure that the hallway was empty before walking out with them, but not Libby. She knew this had nothing to do with feeling ashamed of her; he was doing it to protect himself and her. Neither of them needed more drama in their lives right now.
“Keep that up and you’ll be writing another hit single in no time,” she joked regarding his rhyming skills. “And when you get back home I’ll make sure have the best, the freshest tea you’ve ever tasted every morning.”
Thinking over her words, Libby frowned slightly. That wasn’t his home. Could a hotel suite even be a home? His home was in England. His home wasn’t here. It wasn’t where she was.
“Back to the hotel, I mean,” she quickly amended.
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on May 12, 2008 11:14:54 GMT -5
Charlie felt himself smirk, until Libby corrected herself, saying that they were going back to the hotel. He had been at the Roosevelt for about six months, and in that six months he longed for England. He longed for the familearity of home and Los Angeles could never be home. Los Angeles was harsh and fast pace and cruel; Manchester had been his home...it had been before all the drugs and pain and hurt. He looked over at her with a half smile. "Y'know what? I'm gonna take you to Manchester. When I get straight I'm gonna take you to Manchester." he said surely with a nod.
Everything he was, was in Manchester. His mother's grave, his father's shop, the schools that he went to growing up and the church that he said he'd always go to. Everything was there. "I can show you the church where I was Altar Boy." Charlie said, his lips spreading into a grin, bumping her slightly with his shoulder, amused at her reaction to his words. "Hey, I was a damn good Altar Boy, thank you very much. My mum was very proud."
Mom. He looked down to the white tiled floor as he thought of his mother. What would she think? Would she hate him? No, she wouldn't...she was his mother. She'd love him no matter what. She always loved him no matter what.
"D'you--" Charlie felt himself stop, and then look over at Libby. "D'you think that she'd...she'd be angry at me for what's happened? I--I just can't even think of what she must think. I mean, that thought alone makes me just---" He felt his head shake to try to shake away the words. "I'd hate my sons too if he's done what we've done. Thankfully she died before she saw how we both managed to destroy everything around us."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on May 18, 2008 18:58:25 GMT -5
Libby smiled at Charlie’s comment. It was sweet, and she appreciated it, but she knew it would never happen. Why would he want to take her back home? Certainly when he did return home it would be with his family, or after he found someone special to take with him. She would just be a fifth wheel in the family picture, someone who didn’t belong, and she would never be that girl. It wasn’t like that with them, and never would be.
Not that she didn’t want to go with him. She loved the idea of seeing where he grew up, and she couldn’t hide her surprise at the thought of him as an Alter Boy. The image couldn’t be any further than the self proclaimed Rock God he was today. Raising her eyebrows at him in disbelief, she chuckled and shook her head.
“I would love to see you perform with a choir,” Libby said, only half teasing. The kind of music he played, and that Driveshaft had played was alright, but she would love to actually hear him sing. Really sing.
The teasing soon stopped, though, and she got another little look into just how damaged her friend really was. There was so much more to Charlie than a strung out rock star, she had known it upon their first meeting. There were many factors that had sent him along that path, and many more that kept him on it. Hopefully she could help by giving him at least a few to keep him off it now.
“Don’t say that, Charlie. Don’t ever say that,” Libby replied, hurting for him that he even felt this way. “There are few sure things in this world, but one of them is a mother’s love. I don’t believe for one second that she would ever hate you.”
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Charlie Pace
administration.
I calculate what I had done, like jumping from the bow yeah. Just to prove I knew how, yeah.
Posts: 196
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Post by Charlie Pace on May 21, 2008 13:08:59 GMT -5
Charlie blinked, the stinging tears coming to his eyes once again, however, h e wouldn't let them fall. "I miss her. In...it's times like these that I wish she was still here. Because she'd hold my hand and tell me that it was alright. That--That it would be okay because she was here." He looked at Libby with a sad smile. "You remind me alot of her. She would have really loved you." He smiled slightly, sadly. "She was there on our first paid gig. Standing in the first row and--and I knew if I didn't make it any more than this, I'd be fine. This would be perfect because she was there."
Charlie shrugged slightly. "She died after our first tour. Liam hit more and more...and then I started. I just--it's supposed to be fun. It was about the music and it was supposed to be fun and yet, I look back and I wish that I could just take a pencil and erase moments. Things that I don't want, they could just be gone." Charlie shook his head, scoffing slightly. "Liam even shot up at the funeral. I got completely smashed, but it had been so tempting. Just to escape for that one moment. Everything would have been fine."
She had said she wanted to hear him sing, really sing, and he scoffed slightly. "I was like, twelve."
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Libby
new oceanic 815.
Take time to realise that I am on your side
Posts: 92
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Post by Libby on May 21, 2008 14:51:08 GMT -5
She couldn’t be his mother, she didn’t tell him that it was alright, but she did hold his hand, and she was there for him. Whenever he needed her, whatever he needed her for, she was determined to be there, and it meant more to Libby than she could ever express that he thought his mother would have approved of her, even loved her.
She wasn’t his mother, but she could still listen to him and comfort him, and that was exactly what she did. Wrapping her arms around him, she rested her chin on his shoulder.
“It’s in the past, Charlie. We all have things in our past we wish we could change. That if we could turn back time, we would do things differently,” Libby spoke softly; caring and understanding. “We can’t, but that just means we have to work harder to make our future something we won’t regret.”
Pulling back from the embrace, she smiled at him.
“Did you have to wear a suit or robes? I bet you looked cute.”
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