Old Family and New Family {open tag}

[Jack Shephard]

Jack felt himself roll over, a groan escaping his lips. His head pressed hard onto the pillow as another groan escaped his lips. His head was pounding, and his stomach shifted. "Fuuuuuck" he groaned, feeling the effects of the seemingly hundreds of shots he had taken. The sound of pounding made him wince, and he brought a hand up to his head. "Go away!" he yelled, and then winced violently at the sound of his own voice. "Fuck." he whispered again, before hearing a voice seemingly screaming.

"Jack! JACK! Jack Nathaniel Shephard, you open this DOOR!"

He managed to roll out of bed, realising that he had somehow managed to dress himself in sweatpants. He stumbled to the door, peering through the peephole. He sighed out, and closed his eyes before he opened it. He felt his mother launch herself into Jack's arms, and he felt himself sigh out, almost happy. Almost. "Mom."

"Jack--Jack, I thought you were dead--"

"Mom, I'm okay. Really, I'm okay."

Margo Shephard pulled back, pressing her hands to his face. She seemed to compose herself, and she stepped back, a slight frown spreading across her face. "You've been drinking." Her voice was no longer relieved, it was harsh. Cold.

Jack found himself scoffing, bringing a hand up to rub at his face. Of course, only his mother could bring something like that up at the moment. Only she could do it. "Mom--"

"Don't give me that, Jack. After everything that's happened--"

"Mom, I have been through SO much in the past three months that I think I deserved a drink."

"Did you deserve the whole bottle, Jack? You're just like your father."

Jack sighed out harshly, moving from the door. "I don't need this right now, Mom. Give me a week before you start in on that shit about how I'll end up like Dad, alright? Give me a few days before you remind me what I did."

Margo resisted the urge to snap at her son once more, and stepped into the hotel room, moving to reach into her purse. Her face was a cold mask of stone, and she pulled out a paper with a printing from a website. "Did you think I wouldn't find out? Did you think that I'd just--just not NOTICE?"

Jack removed his hand from his face, looking over at his mother. "What?"

"Your FATHER, Jack. Did you think I wouldn't find out?" Her voice took an angry turn as she moved, shoving the paper against Jack's chest. "I can't believe you didn't tell me. After everything I've done for you. Everything I've done for HIM."

Jack looked down at the paper, frowning at the article.

OCEANIC FLIGHT 815 SURVIVORS FOUND

Oceanic Flight 815 went missing over the Pacific Ocean in September; all of the passengers and crew were presumed dead

"Mom, this is just an article of the crash--"

"Read further."

One of the most famous of the Oceanic Flight passengers was Doctor Jack Shephard, who was bringing his deceased father, Doctor Christian Shephard, back to the United States for burial. Our sources have found out that by sheer coincidence, Christian Shephard's daughter, Claire Littleton from Sydney, Australia, had been on the same flight

Jack blinked. There...they'd obviously got their sources wrong. "Mom, I--" Jack narrowed his eyes as he read it again.

"I can't believe you would lie to me, Jack. I can't believe you would lie to me just like your father lied to me."

"Mom, there has to be a mistake. Claire--Dad, he--" Jack found himself without words "He would have told me if...if it was true." The news that he had a sister would have been sobering enough...but that it was Claire? Jack felt his mouth go dry as he looked up at Margo. "Mom. I--I swear to you that--that didn't know. Dad he...he never told me this."

Margo crossed her arms over her chest, looking at him with an angry frown. "It wont help to lie for him now, Jack. He's dead."

"I don't need you to remind me of that!" Jack said, his outburst making Margo jolt slightly. "I saw him, Mom. I saw him in the fucking MORGUE. And--and now we're going to have to bury an empty fucking casket because that plane crashed, so can you PLEASE. Just stop. Just please...just stop."

Margo uncrossed her arms and grabbed her purse. "Sarah called. I told her where you were staying."

Jack glared at Margo with a frown. "You didn't."

"She wants to see you, Jack." Margo said, and then turned to move to the hotel door. "Come home, Jack. And the hospital called. They want you back."

With that, Margo was gone shutting the door behind her, leaving Jack alone, clutching the paper in his hand. He looked down at it, reading over and over and over again.

This...it wasn't true. Claire couldn't be his sister. It...it just couldn't happen. He found himself sinking into the chair, his mouth hung open in shock. Did she know? Did Claire somehow know and not want to tell him? No, Claire wouldn't have done that to him. Claire wouldn't have outright lied to him...

But his Father HAD.

Jack moved, crumbling the paper in his fist as he brought a hand to his eyes, trying to stem the tears that were fighting to release themselves from his eyes. He moved, tossing the paper to the other side of the room in anger and frustration.

[leandra]

Leandra was sitting at the dresser putting on her make-up and styling her hair. She was very happy today. Well a lot of the memories of the crash and being stranded on the Island was still with her however, but today she was happy, as earlier she had managed to contact her father by phone. He had been so happy to hear from her naturally.

The conversation was simple and had gone something like this:

"Hello... dad"

Silence....

"Dad?"

"Is...is..it really you?"

"Yes dad, it's me Leandra"

"Oh my god, I thought you had died"

Through tears Leandra continued the conversation: "I know dad, I'm really sorry"

"Sorry? It's not your fault your flight bloody crashed into the middle of nowhere" Hearing his daughter cry, he soothed his voice. "Oh Lea please don't cry darling, it'll be alright"

"Can I come and see you today?" she asked.

"You don't have to ask that darling, I'm not at work today, so just come when you're ready, I'll be here waiting for you, love you darling, bye"

"Love you too dad"

It had filled Leandra's heart with joy to have spoken to her father. She still hadn't managed to get in touch with her mother, chances are she was probably caught with her dodgy dealings and wasn't reachable. Squirting some perfume as a finishing touch, she looked herself down in the mirror. Nodding in approval of how good she looked all things considering, she grabbed her bag and made her way to go visit her dad. However as she locking her room door, she could hear some noise coming from Jack's room. She hated being nosy, but with everything which had been happening over the past few months, she was a little worried for him. Worried for everybody who had been on the Island trapped for all those months.

So she walked along until she was near to Jack's door and then went to knock. Before she could make contact with the door however, she wondered if he would even want disturbed. Maybe he'd rather be left alone. So she made to walk away, but her heart got the better of her head, and she had great respect for Jack for the way he took care of everybody on the Island, especially the first day of madness and mayhem. So she walked back and then tentatively knocked on the door.

"Jack? It's Lea, everything alright Jack?" she asked through the door hoping he'd hear her.

[Jack Shephard]

"Go away."

Jack pressed his head tighter into his hands, willing the headache to go away. The knocking on the door didn't help, and Jack silently figured that it was his mother once again, wanting to talk about how horrible of a son he was and that he'd never amount to anything. However, as he heard Lea's voice, he stood up and went to the door. He wiped the tears of frustration quickly from his eyes, glancing at the mirror to make sure he looked decent enough for other people to look at without wondering. They'd find out sooner or later, if they read the papers. Maybe she had heard the yelling. Maybe something was wrong.

Maybe Jack would never be able to get out of the leader role, even off the island and these people would come to him for everything. He opened the door and saw Lea standing there. "Hey, sorry. I thought you were, um...housekeeping." he explained to her for yelling 'go away' before.

"So, what's up?"

[leandra]

She tentatively stood at the door wondering if Jack would reply to her at all, or if he simply just wanted to be left alone. She could understand that very well. After the raid on her mother's so called place of work and she had managed to escape the clutches of being involved with the police herself, she had constantly been hounded by the press at the airport. Even in such a short space of time, they had managed to track her down. She lost count the amount of times she had to shout at them to go away and leave her alone. She was so relieved to finally get through to the departure lounge away from them.

Hey, sorry. I thought you were, um...housekeeping...

She waved her hand at this as she had a feeling that maybe he had wanted to be left alone, no matter what all the noise was about before. "It's alright Jack, really" she said in gentle soft tones. Looking at him on closer inspection it looked like he had had the drunkest night on earth. His eyes were red and narrow and looked like they were even watering slightly. She just hoped that what ever had happened in his room earlier, it wasn't too bad.

So, what's up?...

She smiled slightly at this before replying to him. "Ah, there's not much wrong with me Jack, other than all the memories ya know?" She wasn't sure what else to say to him really. She didn't want to appear nosy, because the last thing she wanted was to upset Jack. She liked him. Well a lot of the females on the Island liked him, some more than others. But somehow she knew where Jack's heart lay.

"I just hope you don't think I'm being nosy, I'm just concerned. I heard a lot of shouting when I was leaving my room earlier to visit my dad. I...I just couldn't help but make sure you were alright" she explained as best she could. Really hoping that he wouldn't take it as an invasion of his privacy. Only Leandra was a for all her silly little errors in life a kind person with a soft soul, and she hated seeing other people she liked in pain and suffering.

"But sure you can tell me to mind my own" she finished, because really it might very well be none of her business, and she certainly didn't want to upset Jack anymore than he already seemed to be. Or maybe not upset as such, but certainly frustrated that was for sure.

[Jack Shephard]

Jack found himself laughing, but it wasn't funny. None of it was funny but it was ironic because the yelling and the frustration, that would be a part of the Shephard family until they died. Jack was sure even the Weather could turn out in a fight."Oh, uh," Jack let out a slight laugh again as he shook his head. "It was just my mom. She, um...came to see if I was alive and when she saw that I was at least alright, she started in on...everything." Margo knew just as Christian did how to worm her way into her son's mind, to pick and push until he yelled at her. And then she played the 'mother' card.

No wonder he was so fucked up, Jack silently thought, before he shook his head once more. "It's, uh...it was nothing. Just a regular conversation between my mother and I."

He moved back into his hotel room, picking up the torn paper from the floor. He uncrumpled it and looked at it once more, as if to make sure that the words hadn't changed. He scoffed, shaking his head frustratingly before he tossed it into the trash can. He looked over at Lea. "So, I'm sure your father was happy to hear that you were, you know...alive." Jack then realised that he still had to call the funeral home. "Shit," he whispered, and then looked at Lea. "Oh, not you. I just remembered that I have to call the funeral home."

[leandra]

Lea wasn't sure how to react when Jack started to laugh after she had finished all her questions. Maybe he had taken it the wrong way after all, and he was like scoffing at her a little. But somehow that didn't seem to be Jack. But she soon relaxed when he went into a few answers. And it sort of made sense when she heard what he had to say. After all he had been missing for months, his mum was bound to be on edge to know after all this time he was alive.

"I guess I can understand that Jack, and you probably just weren't in the mood for it, were you?" she questioned kindly with a sweet smile. She was lucky that her dad didn't go into panic mode when he found out she was alive, he just seemed to be relieved. Yeah that's the word she would use to describe how her dad felt at the news she was alive and well, relieved.

"Okay Jack, I guess I don't know anything about your relationship with your mum, so if it's nothing unusual...I just wanted you to know I was concerned, that's all"

She noticed him picking up a crumpled newspaper and tried to glance at what he was looking at, but couldn't quite notice it, and then he dumped it in the trash. Obviously something in the newspaper was upsetting him. She knew he was frustrated about something. But it probably wasn't her place to pry. Still her concerned heart, just couldn't let it go the way it was. She was just about to ask her question, when he fired one at her first.

"Hell yes my dad was so pleased. He wasn't all manic over it, just very relieved. I can't wait to meet up with him later, I'm such a daddy's girl" she said and then stifled a giggle. It sure was good to be back in civilisation she thought. She'd soon be able to go shopping and get herself a nice new set of clothes. That made her happy. She couldn't wait to raid the main shopping streets of Los Angeles.

"Oh well if you have to call the funeral home, don't let me stand in your way. But are you sure you're alright, you seem a little frustrated Jack" she said as she looked toward the newspaper he had dumped in the trash. "I'm a good listener if you want to talk? After all, you were once there for me when I needed you on the Island" she said with a smile.

[Jack Shephard]

"No, it's nothing unusal at all." Jack said, and actually felt bad. It hurt that he couldn't have the regular conversations with his mother. The happy conversations about what he had missed from his time away from reality. As Lea spoke of her family life, Jack felt himself smile. "That's nice, Lea. I'm sure he's thrilled that your back." his voice was genuine before he noticed her watching him as he tossed the paper into the trash. "Oh, um," Jack said, trying to think up a quick lie. "Now that we're back, the paper's sturred up a whole bunch of shit about my father. You know, the fact that he didn't come back with us...the reason he died in Australia...that sort of thing."

When she spoke of the Funeral home, Jack shook his head. "No, actually, I was planning on going down there later today after I get a few things done." He had to go bail Kate out, go buy new clothes, head over to his mother's house and then to the funeral home. So much to do and Jack wasn't sure there was enough hours in the day.

When Lea said he was frustrated, he shook his head. "Nah, I'm...I'm fine. It's just I thought she would have waited at least a couple days before digging in. I shouldn't be surprised." he said, shrugging one shoulder.

[leandra]

Leandra couldn't help get the feeling that Jack would rather be left alone. Maybe she should just take her leave, but something kept drawing her toward him. Like she knew there was something wrong, but at the same time she didn't want to come right out and ask, because that was just too rude. If Jack really wanted to talk about it he would, she'd given him enough opportunity to open up to her.

She nodded in agreement when he said that it wasn't anything unusual for him and his mother to argue in such a way. Seemed a shame she thought, although, truth be known, she and her own mother had a rather volatile relationship, where ever she happened to be right now. She shrugged thinking about it, and then shook it off and put her attention back to Jack with a smile.

"Yeah I'm sure my dad will be pleased to see me, I'll certainly be pleased to see him" she answered with a smile. She noticed how he seemed a little flustered over the newspaper he'd thrown in the trash. It was almost as if what he said about his dad was just a cover for what the real issue was. After all the whole thing about his dad was fairly well known issue now. But then saying that, newspapers did have bad habits of raking up old news all the time just to get them sold.

"Oh right, I see" was all she could say to the story about the reason why he'd thrown the newspaper in the trash. She tried to look at it, sure enough his father's name was mentioned but so had Claire. She really couldn't help herself, "Why does that article mention Claire?" she asked and pointed to the newspaper in the trash. "What's she got to do with your father and him going missing?" she really hoped he wouldn't be too annoyed at her asking. But it was fairly obvious to her, that the newspaper was what had upset Jack, and that somehow it was more than just a story about his father. "I mean, sorry if you think I'm prying, as I said before, I'm just a little worried about you" she tried explaining herself.

Lea nodded her head in understanding when Jack mentioned about going to the funeral home later and about how much he had to get done. "Yes well, some parents are born to give us grief I guess" she said in retaliation about his mother waiting for a while before digging him. Poor Jack was all Lea could think. He was such a lovely guy, he didn't deserve any of this.

[Jack Shephard]

He had been all ready to tell her that he'd be fine. That the article spoke of Christian and nothing more and that she should leave it alone because he didn't want to think of it anymore. However, he thought to himself that he shouldn't have been surprised. His father lied to him like second nature and Jack had even become accustom to hearing them, but...but why would he lie about something as serious as that?

Jack had remembered a time once, when nhe was probably no older than five, that he had came upon his dad once and told him that he wanted a brother or sister. Christian had laughed, capped him on the shoulder and told him that he didn't need a brother or a sister. He was enough.

And yet, halfway across the world, he HAD a sister. He had someone that shared his blood. Perhaps it was and overly romantic thought, perhaps it wouldn't have mattered if he had a brother or sister when he was little but the thought that he wasn't alone at the times where he had thought he was the most alone, well it was a nice thought. A safe thought.

Lea's voice broke his thoughts, and his eyes widened only slightly as he heard her ask why the article was talking about Claire. "My father's not missing." Jack said, annoyed but for all the wrong reasons. He wasn't annoyed with Lea, he was annoyed at the fact that once again, Christian reminded himself that he wasn't really gone. Yes, he was dead...but there was no body to bury. No closure to be had. Hell, he wasn't even sure he even wanted to spend the money for a casket if there was nothing in it. Someone once told him that he needed to bury the father in his head before he could bury the one on earth. Did that mean he needed to have a funeral in his head? He had thought about it on the Island, about how it would be, if his mother would cry and if Sarah would be there willing to hold his hand. If he would have taken it...

"My father's dead."

Jack felt a sigh escape his lips, and he moved to sit down on the bed, putting his head in his hands for a brief moment. The headache started to rise agian. "The paper's made a mistake." he told Lea, his voice muffed slightly by his hands. He rubbed his eyes and scratched his head, hanging it slightly. "I'm going to have to call them. Yell at them or something because they've made a glaring error."

Why did Jack know that it wasn't an error? Even when he had not wanted to, when he had tried to focus on other people on the Island, Claire had always stood out. He had worried for her. At the time, Jack had thought it was simply and overactive need to help people in need however with Claire...he had felt something. His brows narrowed slowly, the alcohol-haze still swimming in his brain even with the morning after...

"They said...they said she's my sister." The words came out almost surprised, and truely, whether or not t was a lie or not, it was sinking in finally. It hit him like a train, which didn't help because he already felt like a semi hit him. "Which--" Jack felt a scoff escape his lips, one of disbelief and of slight shock. "Which is completely...completely insane."

[leandra]

Jack seemed to be lost in some thoughts for quite some time, and Leandra was beginning to think it might have been better had she just left him alone. Sometimes people needed to get their heads around things themselves. Sometimes people getting in the way and asking all sorts of questions doesn't help your situation. And she was beginning to think she was making the situation worse for Jack. Unfortunately Leandra wasn't the type to let a friend suffer if she felt they needed to be getting something off their chest. So instead of taking her leave, she remained where she was, sure that Jack would say what was wrong when he was ready, if of course he wanted to say anything at all.

My father's not missing. My father's dead.....

The words went round and round Lea's head. She couldn't believe she had said the wrong thing. She knew Jack's father was dead. She hadn't used the best wording when saying what she had said. Now she felt purely embarrassed, not sure what to say now. She felt so silly. She stumbled over her words, like she knew she would.

"I..I'm sorry Jack, I guess I said it wrong. I knew your father was dead, I just meant what the newspapers have been saying about the body being missing...Actually maybe it's better if I don't say anything else..." she trailed off. She really didn't want to be making anything worse for Jack than it already seemed to be. Sometimes Lea wondered where she got her brain from.

The paper's made a mistake...

More words which swam around Lea's head. The paper's made a mistake. What kind of mistake had the paper made? She didn't want to pull the paper out of the bin, as that was just rude. But she didn't have long to wait to find out what the mistake was. As what Jack said next, made Leandra's jaw drop open wide. She simply couldn't take it in.

"You're sister?" was all she could say to Jack. Could Claire be his sister? Why wouldn't Claire have said anything, if she knew it were true? Claire wouldn't be the type to hold that kind of information. But then it was known for newspapers to get things wrong, so maybe they did make a mistake with this. "Claire would have said something to you about it surely?" Lea questioned. "Maybe the newspapers are wrong" She wondered if Claire would have got the same paper herself, and what she would have thought of the revelation. She imagined it would be as much a shock to Claire as it had been to Jack. It had to be. She couldn't even be sure of any family resemblance.

[ooc: sorry for mix up with the missing line - I wasn't concentrating]

[Jack Shephard]

((OOC: It's okay, it worked so I went with it. And sorry this is so late, I could have SWORN I posted, and then realised that it didn't go through. >.>))

"No, it's okay," Jack told her, shaking his head slightly. "I know what you meant. Sometimes it's like he isn't dead. And sometimes I think that he's really not dead because there's no body." Jack shrugged slightly. "I know what you meant." Lea spoke again about the papers being wrong, and Jack felt himself sigh out, moving to rub his face. "I don't know. I don't really know anymore and the more that I think about it, the more it makes sense. I mean, I remember when I was younger, probably 14 or 15, my dad left for a month to Australia. He didn't even tell my mother why, but when he came back...he was different. His mood was different. He drank more. This went on for a couple of months, he'd get letters returned from Australia and leave to call people in the other room, but he'd never talk about it. And I never thought to ask."

He wasn't even sure if he wanted to tell Claire. After everything that happened on the Island, everything that had happened with Charlie, he wasn't sure if she could deal with it. "I can't tell Claire now. She's upset enough after what happened to Charlie. She needs to focus on herself and Aaron right now." Maybe later, a long time from now, he'd tell her...or she'd find out when she read the papers...either way, it would just be a pressure waiting to be released.

"I don't know."

[leandra]

[OOC That's alright, I just thought maybe you had been ill - like me, I'm not online too often just now]

Leandra listened to Jack as he said he understood what she had been trying to say about his father. It's true, it was difficult to understand, with the body going missing, how difficult it must be for Jack to accept his father is dead. Having no body to bury or cremate, must be very difficult indeed. Thinking about it, made her heart go heavy and tears started to form in her eyes, thinking how she would react if she heard news her own father had died. It was something she simply couldn't bear to think about. She loved her father dearly, and the day she wouldn't have him anymore, was a day she never wanted to think about.

"I'm so glad you understood what I meant to say Jack" she replied in a small voice, with a small smile. She would hate to have upset Jack all the more by making a silly mistake about something so major.

Lea then listened carefully as Jack went into a full explanation of how Claire could be his sister after all. Lea wasn't the type of person to judge anybody, she just listened carefully and showed that she cared about what Jack was telling her. If she could help Jack in any way at all, she would try. Jack had been very good to her on the Island. Jack had become a very good friend to her, as he had to a lot of the survivors on the Island. She could not see Jack, Claire or Kate get hurt in anyway at all. They were the ones she had always felt closest to on the Island. Even Sawyer, but Sawyer had gone down his own path of self destruction since coming off the Island. Somehow, she couldn't see Sawyer being the good time buddie he used to be.

She snapped herself back before replying to what Jack had been telling her. "So.." she started softly and slowly, "She could be your sister, but what a revelation, and Aaron, well he would be your nephew Jack, hardly something you can ignore easily" she said gently, hoping he would not take those words the wrong way. It was lovely to know that the sweet little baby boy was officially a part of Jack's life now.

Again Leandra listened carefully as Jack then went on to explain how he couldn't tell Claire just now. Of course he was right. Claire had been through enough. And well her first priority would be Aaron of course. Leandra nodded her head in agreement at what Jack was saying with a soft smile.

"Of course you can't tell Claire just now, unless she reads it in the paper herself of course. But Jack... that little boy, he's a part of your family, I can't see that being an easy thing to ignore for too long" she explained a little more, in the hope that he would understand what she was trying to say earlier. "I just hope I'm not speaking out of turn, I'm only saying these things, because you must know how much I care about you Jack" she said as she put her hand on his arm in a gentle caring gesture.

If anything, Jack had become like a surrogate brother to her, at least that's how she personally felt. For all she knew Jack could hate Leandra, but somehow she didn't feel as if he did. She always felt safe around him, he never gave her any reason to think anything different anyway.

[Jack Shephard]

Glancing at Lea's hand as it rested against his arm, Jack felt a sigh escape his lips. Why the hell did he have the luck he had? Why did even off the island, he have to make decisions for people that three months ago, he wouldn't have know from Adam? Maybe it would have been harder if Christian had told him all those years ago. His parents would have more than likely divorced when Jack was young, and that could have send his life into a spiral. He might have never became a doctor, never crashed on the island...

The what-if's were dizzying to Jack's brain; so many outcomes from just one simple word. Sister. It almost felt nice to think it. He had a sister. He had someone to care about, someone that wasn't just a survivor of a plane crash...but someone who shared his blood. At least half of it, anyway. "I'll have to tell her. There's no telling when she'll get over Charlie--" Even the mere mention of it hurt, "but I've got to tell her. Explain to her." He knew he couldn't explain his father's actions, because as much as he was told he was at times, he wasn't his father...but he could try to come to an understanding. They could both try to come to an understanding together about why his father had lied. Had lied to the both of them.

"You're not speaking out of turn." Speaking about it, with anyone was good. It got his frustrations out, his questions. He was sure he'd find more to ask when he told Kate, try to see if she could shead some light on the mystery that was his father (without even knowing him, Jack thought) however, Leandra was here, and she would do as a second party. A listening ear.

"And it's not like I'm ignoring it...I'm pushing it back until everything...settles. I mean, we got off an island. People that we cared about died...and if I spring it on her now...I doubt she'll take it as easy as I am."

[leandra]

After she placed her hand on Jack's arm and he let out a sigh, Lea felt her heart give out to his circumstances. It was just so very sad in a lot of ways. After everything he had been through, they had all been through and then the coming off the Island and press everywhere. None of them were having a very easy life since they were back in Los Angeles. Not good considering getting off the Island was supposed to be the happiest they should all be feeling. All things said though, she couldn't even begin to think how Jack must be feeling about the whole Claire situation. But she would listen to him and be there for him, it's all she could do.

I'll have to tell her. There's no telling when she'll get over Charlie....but I've got to tell her. Explain to her.....

"You'll know when the time is right to tell her Jack" Lea reassured him with a soft smile. It was true, Claire had been through so much especially with the whole Charlie situation. They had made such a sweet couple on the Island, it was heartbreaking when Charlie died, especially when it was so they could get off the Island. He sacrificed himself for their freedom, in a way, she'd never forget that act of bravery.

You're not speaking out of turn....

Lea let out a little quite sigh of relief. "I'm glad, the last thing I'd want to do is upset you Jack, couldn't lose my surrogate brother" she said half laughing and half serious.

And it's not like I'm ignoring it...I'm pushing it back until everything...settles. I mean, we got off an island. People that we cared about died...and if I spring it on her now...I doubt she'll take it as easy as I am.....

Leandra's smile dropped slightly from her face, replaced instead with a melancholy sad smile instead. "I know Jack, we lost some good people, it's not been easy for any of us" remembering Charlie more, Boone and Shannon in particular made Lea start to cry. It's not what she intended and it certainly wasn't what Jack needed at this moment. "I..I..I'm sorry" she stammered and sniffed, "Just bringing back some sad memories"

She tried to compose herself, but it wasn't working very well, but thankfully they were small tears, and not the heavy sobbing she had been doing almost every night since she arrived back in Los Angeles. So she was able to continue to talk to Jack. "I know you aren't ignoring it Jack, I know you would never do that, and you've always taken things easier, I often wonder how you do it" but now she had started to truly crack, Lea wasn't as strong as she often liked to make out. The sobs very clear to hear, never mind see.

[Jack Shephard]

"It takes alot to upset me." Jack reassured her, however, he knew it was a lie. Things upset Jack all the time, however, he was better at keeping things inside, down. As he looked over, seeing Lea's eyes fill with tears, he brought a hand up, pressing it against her back. "But we're alive, that's the main thing. Charlie, Boone and Shannon, Libby...they all had a hand in getting us off the Island."

When Lea commented on how he handed things, he felt himself look down at his lap for a moment. He remembered how after his first death as a doctor, he had asked his father how he handled it as well as he did. How he handled all the pressure.

"C'mon, kiddo. Let's go down to Lou's and I'll tell you all about it."

In that time between drinks, before he and his father had been truly drunk, Christian had told him that your mind is endless, it can hold more than your heart can. Shove it back in there, kiddo, and you'll be good to go. But never let it get to your heart.

"It'll get easier with time. And it helps that it's not the first person I've seen die." Boone...Boone had forgiven him. Told him it was alright, to let him go...the other patients hadn't had such luxury. "My first patient that I lost, however, is a different story."