I fail before I even try, watch me break [Kate]

[Jack Shephard]

This wasn't right. No, this was right. This was right, she needed help, this was right. This...this was sickening.

He clenched the steering wheel so hard he was sure it could break under the pressure. He was surprised he hadn't broken under the pressure that seemed to be on his shoulders at the moment. The same sickening mantra repeated over and over and over again in his head; she needed help. Claire needed help, she needed help and Jack was the one that had to give it to her, because he had been the only one that stepped in. Looked at the situation. He was the only one that had taken control...

What would the others think? He made up his mind that he didn't care what the others thought at the moment, None of them had talked to her, none of them had even visited her...seen the signs...

He brought a hand up, chewing on the end of his thumnail as Santa Rosa came into the distance. A frown spread on his face, deeper and more concerned as he drove up to the recieving doors. Dr. Henry Matthias was waiting, and opened Jack's door. "Jesus, Jack, did you speed?" he peered into Jack's back seat, frowning. "How heavy is her sedation?"

"Just a general tranq dart."

"What's her symptoms?"

"Depression, hallucinations, catatonia when I noticed her, mild though. She said she saw her boyfriend, had lunch with him, trouble is, he's dead." Jack said as he opened the door to the backseat. "She had a baby about two months ago, it could be post-partum coupled with the fact that her boyfriend drowned two weeks ago."

"With Hallucinations?"

"You're the expert." Jack told him as he watched a gurney being wheeled out. Jack lifted Claire out of the back seat and put her onto the stretcher.

"Come in and fill out some paperwork, Jack, and we'll get her into a room."

As Claire was wheeled off, Jack felt a deep sigh escape his lips as if it was a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. He brought a hand up, pressing it against his nose to try to quell the growing headache. Kate was standing next to him, and without even thinking he reached over, grabbing her hand as he laced his fingers with hers.

Jack could feel it, deep down in his bones that something about this was horribly wrong, however...the logical part said it was right. The baby was out of harms way, and Claire was getting help.

This was right.

It had to be.

[kateausten]

It was all gibberish to her, and with the screaming baby in her arms, it didn’t really register. She was trying as hard as she could to get Aaron to quiet down. Anything to make the situation seem a tad bit better then it was, a tad bit better then it possibly could be. “Aaron, come on.” Kate shushed. “She’s going to be okay , it’s all going to be okay.” Her lips pressed against his forehead as she moved to follow Jack as he lifted Claire onto the stretcher. There wasn’t any reason to continue debating this in her mind – the situation was past the point of no return. Kate shifted Aaron in her arms as she began to think his cries were dying down – at least a little bit?

Sighing lightly Kate ran a hand through her hair , no sooner had it dropped back down to her side, then Jack had grabbed it lacing fingers with her. For a moment, Kate felt the effect it had on her heart, and not only that, but the strange feeling she had in her stomach – she’d had it before. Squeezing lightly she stepped with him , leaning into him lightly. Everything was going to be okay , eventually.

"It'll be okay.." Kate whispered completely unsure of herself.

[Jack Shephard]

He wanted to believe her words. Wanted to believe that yes, it would be alright because she believed in him. However, even the simple fact that she believed him didn't completely calm his fears. As she leaned into him, Jack felt his eyes close slightly for a moment, relishing the feeling of her close. Her strength. "Will it?"

He opened his eyes and turned to her, moving to bring a hand up to press against her cheek. "I just--" he started, and felt himself look down before back up to her face. "I just want to thank you. I-I mean...if you weren't here right now, I don't think I'd be able to do this." he told her honestly, tears burning in the back of his eyes, threatening to rise and fall. "This--" he started, and then shook his head slightly. He looked at Aaron, who had finally started to calm down. He felt himself smile sadly as he brought a hand up to press against the top of the baby's head before he looked at Kate. "We'd better get in. The paperwork's hell..."

His hand moved, taking hers once more as he walked into Santa Rosa. "She's going to hate me."

[kateausten]

Silence clung heavily to everything – well, silence excluding Aaron’s cries which were dying down. Kate couldn’t help but notice how tired he looked. It’d only be a matter of time before he’d pass out in her arms, and hopefully wouldn’t remember any of this. How could she reply to Jack – aside from repeat herself. Was it the truth? She didn’t know, but it was their only option. They couldn’t continue to dwell on this. The damage was done. “Jack come on..” Kate tried to add some positive emotion to it. “It’ll be okay, and you don’t need to thank me.” How hard was it to say that while holding back her own tears? Incredibly hard.

As Jack’s hand pressed lightly against her cheek Kate sighed lightly, releasing a breath of air she’d for some reason been holding in. The fluttery feeling in her stomach passed as Jack’s fingers laced back with hers and they continued on. “Well, I guess we better get it done before it’s dark… Or before Claire wakes up..” The side walk was all she could watch as the two continued into the building. “Don’t think like that.” She mumbled quietly, eyes shifting down to Aaron who was fighting to stay awake.

[Jack Shephard]

"They'll give her some things to calm her down when she does wake up." Jack said as he looked at the sidewalk that switched to white crisp tile that reminded him of Saint Sebastians. A breath escaped h is lips and he realised how tired he was. Looking over at Kate and Aaron in her arms, he felt himself smile only slightly as he watched Aaron try vainly to keep his eyes open. "He wore himself out." Jack said quietly, and he prayed that Aaron didn't remember this. He prayed that in a year, two years, three even that Aaron didn't look at Jack and hate him. That Aaron could learn to understand that in the end, Jack had done it to keep Aaron and Claire safe.

It was then that Jack realised that he knew very litttle about Kate. Sure, he knew things, but not into the workings of her life before the Island. "You're really good with him, you got him to calm down when I think I would have just made it worse." Jack wasn't sure he had the touch with children. He hadn't had to deal with many when he had been at Saint Sebastian's, and when he had, Jack had put them at a distance, cured the problem and moved on. "Sarah always said that I'd be a natural at the whole baby thing. I'm not so sure." However, Aaron had just witnessed his mother being taken from him, of course he wouldn't be easily calmed...but Kate had somehow managed to do it.

[kateausten]

Eventually that’ll wear off, and nothing will calm Claire. We’ve taken her son away, and her freedom too. Jack, she’s going to hate us. Kate bit her lip as Aaron’s head lolled around for a moment before her hand came up as extra support. “She’ll be fine – she’ll understand.” How could she say something she didn’t even believe? The more seconds that passed, the more it sunk in. They’d changed the future. “He did, I should get him some formula for when he wakes up..” Kate said seriously , she needed to take care of him, nothing could go wrong.

“I think Sarah was right.” She smiled , looking down at the child in her arms. “I could see it – you just gotta get comfortable.” Hell, she didn’t have much experience with children – not in the slightest, and yet, now, it seemed so natural. Before Kate would avoid children, it made her uncomfortable, yet now, it was her duty, and she loved it. It was almost funny how something could change so easily. “How long do you think this will take?” She questioned.

[Jack Shephard]

His heart was still racing in his chest, like he had ran from one side of the jungle to the other, or like when he had first met Sarah in the ER. Jack told himself silently that he had choices to make, as he had the same on the Island. He had done what he thought was right for Claire, for Aaron. Kate spoke, and Jack looked over at her with a slight nod. "Formula, yeah. We can stop at Walgreens on the way back to the hotel."

Kate spoke of Sarah, and even though the situation was so dire, so grim, Jack felt a twist happen in his stomach as she mentioned that she could see it. "Maybe." Jack said after a second, feeling the twisting feeling lessen in his stomach. "Maybe I'm just worried I'd--"

Jack stopped as he saw Henry come up. He extended his hand to the man, who took it and placed a hand over his own. "Henry, hey. Thanks again for this."

"Don't worry about it, Jack. She's sleeping now, we've got her into a room, and when she wakes up, we'll do some prelim's on her, see what we're working with." Henry said, and motioned towards the nurses station. "Okay, fill these out to the best of your knowledge." He told Jack, and shook his head. "Man...I just can't believe it."

"Believe what?" Jack asked without looking up from the paper. He realised as he filled out the paper, how little he actually knew about Claire.

"That you're here, man. Standing there." Henry looked over at Kate and smiled at Aaron. "He's very cute. He looks like my boy when he was little."

Jack finished, signing the papers. "Alright, look, I don't have a cell phone right now, but I put the hotel's number down along with my room. If you can't reach me there, I put down my mom's number, too. I may be there. I'll call you when I get a cell."

"Yeah, hey, that's fine, man. Everyone can get some sleep and I'll call you. She's in very good hands now, Jack." Henry said.

"Hey, um, can I talk to you...over here?" Jack asked, and motioned slightly. Henry followed until they were slightly away from Kate. "Look, I havn't been sleeping well the past week. I mean, with the plane crash and the island and everything and I was just wondering if you'd do me a favour. Can you write a script for clonazepam?"

"For you?"

"Yeah. I mean, the Island and now this, it's just--I'm a little wired right now."

Henry reached into his pocket and pulled out the script pad, nodding as he wrote. "You know I've always told you this, Jack, but you're one stubborn son of a bitch. You won't even let a plane crash stop you. On an Island no less." he ripped the script and handed it to him. "I'll give you a call. Get some sleep, Jack."

"Thanks, I will." Jack told Henry, efore turning anf walking back to Kate. "Alright, let's get him some formula and get him to bed." Jack told Kate, stuffing the script into his pocket. He'd be able to fill the script at Walgreens and be able to have relief in an hour at the most.