I Know What's At Stake. (Charlie-Boy.)

[Liam Pace]

The smell of Karen still lingered desperately on him as he knelt there on his knees rifling through Charlie’s drawers. He had to have a hit some where – he had to have something! Liam’s hands shook unhealthily as he pulled the drawer out and dumped the contents on the floor. It was only 7am, the sun was beginning to peak through the drawn curtains. Charlie had been stirring for some time now, but all Liam needed was to find a hit, then he’d leave, and It’d all be okay… until he needed another hit. His fingers balled into a fist, his knuckles eventually turning white, he was hurting for a hit… aching.

It was at this moment that it all came back to him. He remembered what a destructive path the two brothers had lead, the life of luxury and hurt. And now, yet again Liam was living it, all over again. It wasn’t very long ago that Liam had been sitting next to Charlie’s bed side as he told him that He’d be there for him… That Liam was going to get Charlie better, and now, there they were. He’d broke it.

“Fuck.” He hissed quietly crawling over to Charlie’s suit case, flipping it and dumping the contents on the floor. “Baby brother… I need it.” He whispered angrily as his hands darted in Charlie’s abandoned pants pockets. “I know you have some…” It didn’t occur to Liam that talking could potentially wake his brother.. The one that Charlie was depending on to get him better. “God damn it!” He seethed angrily. Sweat matted with his hair as he tried to stand, he was going through with drawls, and now he was getting more and more shaky. Maybe he could leave, go out and get ‘coffee’. That way, Megan, Karen, or Charlie wouldn’t have the slightest idea what was going on…

[Charlie Pace]

// "Charlie. Charlie, wake up."

Charlie felt a hand on his head, and he blinked eyes open to see the face of his mother over him. "Mum?"

"Charlie," Megan said almost sadly and watched as her son's face twisted into a sob. "Charlie, stop crying. Stop." Megan said kindly, her voice soft and soothing. "They need you, Charlie. Claire and Aaron need you." Megan found herself frowning deeper. "Your brother needs you, love. He's gotten himself into something that I don't believe I can even bring him out of."

Charlie moved, laying his head in his mother's lap. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so horrible after you left. I-I just--"

"Shush." Megan said, her fingers running through his hair. "To grow we must feel pain. There has to be horrible things in life for us to find surpreme happiness." She smiled slightly at her son. "You've done so well, Charlie. You've come so far, and I am proud of you, my darling. I am so proud of you. But now you have to do something for me, Charlie. You've got to wake up." //

Charlie clenched onto the large, overstuffed teddybear that was almost as large as himself, wrapping his arms around it. "No," he muttered, clenching his eyes shut. "N-No, Mummy. I don't want to wake up. Tell--Tell Claire I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."

God damn it!

Charlie jerked slightly as his brother's voice filtered through his brain. He blinked open bloodshot eyes to see the blurry form of Liam. "Oi," he said tiredly, his voice weak. "fuck off, go mess through your own stuff."

However, as Charlie slowly woke up, he frowned as he saw the state of his room.

"Oi! What the HELL, man?!"

[Liam Pace]

“Sodd off.” Liam hissed as he knelt down pushing himself under the bed rifling through the scattered contents that had taken shelter there. In this mess – in all of it, Charlie had to of had something. He couldn’t be completely out or clean… It was too soon, and if Liam knew his brother… Charlie had a shit lad hidden some where, all he had to do was ask but then Charlie would know..

Garbage, clothing, junk and about everything but drugs. He needed the damn drugs! Liam pushed himself up and crawled to Charlie’s feet – his hands grabbing the fabric of his pants. “Baby brother – I need some.” His eyes were just as desperate as his tone – his hands shaky as ever. There was no use hiding it – when Charlie would of woken up completely it would be completely obvious to him what Liam had been up to all night.

[Charlie Pace]

Charlie felt his brows narrow, and through sleep-filled haze, Charlie sat up, blinking at his brother as the other arm still held onto the bear. There was no use telling Liam to sod off, he wouldn't leave anyway. However, as Liam grabbed onto his pants, Charlie's brows narrowed. "Wazzgoinon'--" he started, until Charlie nearly paled at the words Liam had spoken.

Was this a test? No, no because Liam had made sure to go through every bloody inch of his room before he had come home from the hospital, Karen had told him that. So this couldn't be a test, because every night since they had gone through the room with a fine tooth comb.

And then Charlie saw the look. That look that he knew all too well, the same look that he had saw when he had looked in the mirror before he had OD'ed, the aching needing and the urgancy to get anything flowing into veins....and yet, for a second, Charlie didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that Liam was using again, because...well, he'd be screwed, wouldn't he? If Liam was using again, then there'd be no stopping him from taking one last bump, one last hit...

"What?" Charlie asked, eyes slightly wide. "This--What, d'you think this is some kinda--it's not FUNNY, Liam! It's--it's not funny, so just stop, okay? Just--" But that look. Liam was a horrible actor...

Charlie moved, smacking Liam hard across the face with the giant teddy bear, which, in retrospect, hadn't done much more than shock his brother. He moved, hitting his brother again with the teddy bear before he moved, launching himself from the bed, only to crumble in a heap, his legs tangled in sheets. He moved, punching the first thing around him, which was Liam's thigh before quickly trying to untangle himself from his sheets. "You--" he sputtered, to in shock and livid to say anything else, before he moved, trying to punch Liam in the face, but in his sleep-filled haze, only hitting his shoulder. Tears burned in the back of his e yes, and he prayed to god this wasn't true...because if it was true, this, the rehab, the dying and being brought back and the simple fact that he was alive at all...it would have meant nothing.

"You STUPID son of a bitch!"

[Liam Pace]

“I’m not joking.” Liam told him quietly in a hushed tone, a sincere urgency in his voice. He was shaky, and his head was beginning to hurt… pound like his skull was about to shatter. The sounds were so loud but the thing that would make it all better… Drugs, all the drugs he could ever want. Desperation shone through his eyes and straight into Charlie and for a moment, Liam knew that his brother knew he wasn’t joking and for fear of feeling even more guilty – he looked away and scrambled down to Charlie’s back pack by the foot of the bed.

Before he could fully get out of Charlie’s reach he felt the sudden impact of something on his face. While it felt soft, something hard had hit him. “Fuck – what was…” He stopped as another blow connected with his face, and then a giant thud landed beside him. A sharp pain was felt to his thigh as Charlie thrashed around angrily and attempted to punch blindly hoping to knock Liam senseless, he assumed.

“Ch-“ A hard punch landed on his shoulder . Pain only pulsed through him while a seemingly numb feeling took over. The two at the same time was an odd feeling and something almost impossible to describe. “God damn it!” Liam began his eyes finally back to Charlie’s- they were glistening. Quickly his eyes found the floor again, his fingers tapping nervously on his pants as Charlie yelled at him.

“Shut up- look, it’s fine.” He began skeptically. “Be quiet, you’ll wake Kare, and Megan..” He knew Charlie was right, but deep down, he couldn’t find it in his heart to acknowledge it.

[Charlie Pace]

He didn't get it. The stupid son of a bitch didn't get it, he just kept talking and talking and telling him that it would be okay when Charlie knew it would never be okay. Never, ever again, because even if a fairy came in and hit Liam over the head with her wand, it would never be okay because Liam had done it. It was over. Done. Finished. It was the nail in the coffin, as ironic as it was.

Charlie felt his face twist up into a sob as Liam spoke, and his fists clenched at his sides as he lay on the floor. He wanted to scream at Liam, hit him, beat his ass into a bloody pulp and yet, he was so tired. Liam was still talking? Why was he talking?!

"SHUT UP!"

Charlie managed to keep the sound to a harsh, seething whisper. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! CHRIST! I'm--" Charlie lashed out, smacking Liam hard on the arm, alternating between punching and smacking his brother. "You--YOU FUCKER. I'm gonna fucking KILL you! I'm gonna KILL you, Liam, I'm gonna fuckin' blow your sodding head off'--" His voice left his throat, cut off from tears as he pushed himself away from Liam, trying to get as far as possible from his brother. He wrapped his arms around his knees, pressing his face against his arms. "You should have let me die! You should have just walked away, Liam, because right now? Right now you just--" The tears were burning his eyes, stinging at the already raw skin. He had cried so much lately...

"Go--I want you to leave. I-I want you to go away, I-I-I can't deal with you here right now, brother, I-I can't because I swear to god if you don't leave I'll jump off the roof or something--" His hands were shaking, and he ran his fingers through his hair, fingers pulling at it. He clenched his eyes shut before opening them.

"I hated you. I hated you for so long because you had something I knew I'd never had...and--and then you come here, preaching about how--how I need to get clean and I'm getting clean and you have to come to fucking remind me of everything that's happened? Everything I've done? Everything I've ruined?" Charlie asked, trying to keep his voice down, but the more agitated and near hystarical he got, it was getting harder and harder by the second. Maybe he should tell Karen. Tell her and sit back and watch as the world ended. He'd have front row seats to the primest and most horrible disastor. At one point, it had almost been a fantasy...but now...

"I hated you, Liam and I loved you so much at the same time and then you go and do something like this. You should have let me die, Liam. I should be dead because this...this is killing me."