Cabin Rounds {Claire}

[Jack Shephard]

The sleeping quarters of the freighter were less than stellar. However, he knew one thing. They were going home.

Jack hadn't processed it fully until they had gotten on the freighter. And still, even after seeing the frighter move away from the island, seeing the water and seeing the waves, Jack still was waiting for something to wake him up.

But as he walked through the bowls of the ship, Jack knew that this was real. They were going home. He heard a cry, a baby's cry, and he looked towards the cabin that Claire and Aaron had occupied. Charlie was the reason they had all gotten on this Freighter. His heart ached for Claire; she had lost so much.

Jack knocked slightly against the cracked open door, and he pushed it open slowly. "Hey, Claire." Jack said, trying to make his voice sound as happy as possible. But then he realised, that it could have come off rude. "How're you--" he started automatically, and then scoffed slightly at his own ignorance. "Um, I figured I'd check on you and Aaron." he told her kindly, looking at the mother and her child. "How is he doing? Does he have any motion sickness?"

[claire littleton.]

Claire sat there, her back up against the cold steel wall, her eyes were watering but she hadn’t noticed , she hadn’t noticed she’d been staring at the exact same spot- a black scrape mark on the wall for almost an hour, only blinking a minimal amount. Aaron had sat happily between her legs playing with her fingers, hair and clothing as they sat in silence, his coos the only thing to slice at the air. The room was dark, dank even, the pale flickering of a faulty light bulb above them It was hardly the most welcoming thing ever. Claire Littleton had not been the same person since Charlie died.

Off in the distance she heard Aaron’s cry which wasn’t quite enough to snap her out of her trance. The realization hadn’t set in yet, nor did she think it would of months after of being home in Sydney. Would she go to Sydney? What did she have there, If anything the place only swelled with bad memories and she ran the risk of running into Thomas. Maybe start another life? Some where completely different? Raise Aaron some where else.

Hey Claire. Her head snapped to the sound as another one of Aaron’s cries echoed in the room. “Oh, Hi Jack.” She nodded, her lips forming what she thought to be a normal smile, no matter how pathetic it seemed. Claire noticed the slight problem with his choice of words. In all honesty, she was a little shocked he’d decided to speak to her. It seemed like everyone was avoiding her or something, no one wanted to talk afraid of If they’d upset her. Really, she couldn’t blame them. “Thanks Jack.” Claire wrapped her arms around Aaron as Jack’s shadow arched across the wall. “He’s doing well, I don’t think he’s getting sick. He’s been cheerful it seems. Well, content.” Claire’s eyes traveled up as his and she smiled again, “Does it feel like we’re getting off?” She asked wondering if he felt the same.

[Jack Shephard]

Jack stepped into the cabin slowly, watching her. "No, it doesn't. I'm waiting for someone to pinch me. I'm just thinking that I'll wake up on the beach in my tent."

Her look alone made Jack frown, and he moved, stepping the short distance to sit on the cold steel bed for a moment. "Look, Claire," he said after a moment. "I know that I can't even compare anything to what you're feeling. And I know you're probably going to tell me to shut up now, and if you want to, tell me now and I'll leave, but..." Jack found himself trailing off for a moment before he looked from the wall to Claire's face. "If you need someone to talk to...I'm here."

Jack wanted to instantly take the words back, not becaue they were rude, but because it was so sudden. "Claire, I didn't mean to--" he paused. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--I just meant that...I do care about you. And about Aaron. And if you need someone to talk to...I've been told I'm a good listener."

[claire littleton.]

“Well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen.” Claire smiled, forcing a laugh. In all reality the bright sunny sand and surf was much better when this 6x6 steal box. But hey, maybe they would actually get home, she didn’t want to get her hopes up just incase this boat some how crashed into the ice burg the Polar bears had probably came from. Aaron’s squeal made her look down as he tossed his arm down onto her hand. Claire bit down on the corner of her lip was she watched Jack move to the bed and site, all she could do was listen.

She wasn’t going to tell him to shut up. Nor did she want him to leave. “Thanks Jack.” She said quietly. Maybe what she wanted was for people to actually acknowledge the fact Charlie had died saving every one of them, or maybe just to see a little sadness. It seemed now after anyone died, it wasn’t a big deal anymore. Claire couldn’t believe it however how…. Oblivious they all made it, she felt sick knowing some people still hadn’t even thought of Charlie. He was gone, and there was nothing Claire could do to take him back from the island. “Jack it’s fine.” The blonde began, shaking her head. “Thanks.” She smiled, with a light sigh she looked around removing some of her hair from Aaron’s hand. “Any idea what you’re going to do when we get back?” Small talk. All her mind could process right now.

[Jack Shephard]

Jack looked over as Claire asked what he would do when he got back. Honestly, he wasn't sure WHAT he would do when he got back. He wasn't even sure if anyone would be waiting for him when he got off the Freighter. His mother, his ex-wife, and his best friend probably all thought he was dead at sea somewhere.

"I honestly..." he started, and then looked over at Claire. "I have NO clue what I'm going to do when I get back. I used to think about what I'd do when we first crashed, but...but now, I have no clue." he told her. "I know that I'll have to have a funeral for my dad sometime. Even if it is just an empty casket, I'll have to have it." He thought of Charlie, and looked down for a moment, pursing his lips. "Look, Claire," he started. "If...if I had known what he was going to do...what he planned on doing, I wouldn't have let him go." Jack told her honestly. "All of this...Charlie didn't deserve to die just so we could get on this freighter."

[claire littleton.]

Claire pulled her hair out of Aaron’s tiny fingers as she waiting in silence, the creaking of the boat slowly infiltrating their silence which was obviously followed by a loud, happy scream of Aarons. “Shh.” She hushed quietly to her son. Claire’s eyes slowly traveled back to Jack as he began to talk, as she titled her head to the side she laughed lightly. He seemed a little over whelmed maybe? She couldn’t really blame him there, he would go from being Island Leader and ‘hero’ to a normal Doctor again, or would Jack go back to that? Regardless it was a huge change from what he’d gotten used to the past three months.

Funeral? Wasn’t exactly the best thing to go back to, now was it? Then again, Claire was going to try and do the same thing. Charlie deserved it. First thing she was going to do was get in touch with Liam Pace. Charlie’s brother and the man she’d heard stories about. He deserved to know what had went on on the island and that Charlie had given up heroin – That was something Claire was sure Charlie would want Liam to know, it seemed to have caused such a rift with them. Along with that Liam deserved to know all the times Charlie had came through for her, for everyone, protected her… And saved all of their lives selflessly so they could all get off the island. Liam deserved to know. From then on, Claire would do a memorial, she wanted to. Charlie deserved it. God did he ever. He deserved so much more, but that was all Claire could do for right now.

Biting down on her lip she looked at Jack again. Look Claire. She had a feeling instantly the way he said her name, the way he attempted to add an incredibly touchy and sensitive tone. Her face twisted lightly in a look of pain and frustration. Anyone who had tried to talk to her … they all did it the same way, the only thing that held her back from saying anything was the fact they were all only trying to help her. Each and every one of them was trying to make her feel better. “I know.” She muttered quietly, her eyes shutting tight wanting the moment to pass. Another scream from Aaron however made her eyes open and continue to look at Jack. “He deserved so much more…” Claire’s eyes fluttered shut again the hot feeling passing over her eye balls, the stinging that infiltrated.

[Jack Shephard]

Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Jack saw the subtle shifts on Claire's face. They were small and quick, however, Jack noticed small details as if they were glaring errors. Aaron's scream broke the silence, and Jack looked down at the boy, his fingers playing with the boy's small hand. Aaron's fingers gripped Jack's worn and calloused hand, smacking happily at them. It made Jack smile slightly for a brief moment, until Claire spoke.

Jack looked from Aaron to Claire, and he felt a sigh escape his lips. He wasn't sure why at all, but he found his free-hand moving to lay on Claire's back. "Not a damn thing I say will make you feel better. I know that, but--" Jack felt a pause fall over the small cabin. "But you're alive. And...and I know that doesn't feel like much right now. But Aaron, he'll get a chance to grow up with other kids. He'll get a chance at a normal life and Charlie made that happen."

Jack wasn't sure if anything was getting through, or making her feel the slightest bit better. Jack fell silent, continuing to rub her back as Aaron moved to do what all babies did, gum Jack's finger to death.

[claire littleton.]

If Jack knew this, then why was he trying? He seemed to be the only one that knew that talking about this, and saying all these things to try and make her feel better would do the opposite. No way in hell or this life time would it all make the fact Charlie died for them better. Nor would it bring back Charlie – ever. Claire raised a hand to her forehead awaiting the moment to pass, her finger tips sat idly on her hair line threatening to go further in frustration. “No, it’s not. And Aaron would have had a good life on the island-“ She began, Jack wouldn’t understand though, and deep down, she knew she was wasting her time. Charlie did make that happen, but if Charlie was still with them… Aaron would of loved the island. Deep down, Claire knew that.

All she could do was nod. It felt as if her voice had been snatched from beneath her, she was unable to speak, and unable to say anything that would shut him up. Sighing quietly, Claire rubbed her eyes trying to avoid Jack’s and how he was looking at her. Disecting her emotions, her personality and her sadness. So what if he was a doctor, did he know hurt such as this? Or sacrifice?

[Jack Shephard]

A frown spread on Jack's face as he listened to Claire speak. The frustration was evident in her voice, and Jack wished that he could make it go away. But he knew that he could move the the earth and the stars and it still wouldn't make Claire feel better.

He wasn't sure why he was feeling the way he was. True, he was very emotional, latching and holding on even when he didn't want to, however, this...there was something different. When he saw Claire frown, when he saw her cry, it tore at his heart, and he couldn't understand why.

Silently, he rubbed her back softly, trying anything to make her feel better. He brought a hand up, brushing back a peice of her hair that was caught in her shirt. Jack wasn't even sure if Claire had a place to go...Australia seemed worlds away now. "Look, Claire...I, uh...my paren--my mother," he corrected himself, remembering once again that his father was dead. "she, um..I mean--I'm sure my house is sold with, you know, us being dead and all. But my parents, they have a house, if...if you need a place to stay until--" Until when? She could find her place? "It's just an offer. You can say no. I'm going to head there as soon as we dock. I'm sure my mother will be thrilled that I'm alive."

[claire littleton.]

Unsteadily she began, wondering how far she was going to get before frustration and her tears got the best of her. “Jack, that’s really sweet of you… But I couldn’t. And I’m sure when your mother gets over the fact you’re alive, she isn’t going to want anyone else there, she’ll want you.” It was a long shot, but maybe Claire’s mother had come out of a coma and was waiting idly in her home for any whisper of life-but then again, everyone around the world believed the oceanic 815’ers to be dead. Maybe her mother wasn’t even alive, and that her aunt Lindsay had pulled the plug on her. The thoughts put a sour taste in Claire’s mouth, and disgust in her heart, unfortunately, to her knowledge. She had no one.

“She will be thrilled.” She said weakly, trying to put on a forced smile. “You should go spend time with her immediately, and don’t take it for granted.” That was something Claire was sure no one would be doing. After spending three months on an Island, it was now assumed everyone would be living life to the fullest and taking nothing for granted. “Look, Thanks Jack, but I think I’m going to try and see if Aaron will sleep a little before we get to LA, I don’t know when he’ll have time to sleep after then, since I have no idea whats happening with us all.”