Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Jul 20, 2008 14:13:50 GMT -5
"So, Doctor Shephard, if you don't mind me asking...what the hell happened to you?"
"I fell down some stairs."
Jack knew that the nurse didn't believe him. And at the moment, Jack didn't even care whether or not she believed him; all he needed was to make sure he didn't have any broken bones or internal injuries from his fight with Sawyer. "So what's the news?"
"They say three bruised ribs possibly; x-rays aren't back yet. Your jaw's pretty bruised..." The nurse told him, and looked down at his knuckles. "Did you punch the stairs on your way down?"
"Just do your job and fix me."
"Yes, Doctor."
The nurse finished wrapping his chest; the bandages felt tight. His head was swimming; mixed with the pain killers they had given him and the alcohol that was still swimming through his veins. The nurse stepped back after finishing bandaging his knuckles. Jack watched as another doctor walked in.
"Alright, Jack. X-rays are clean. You're lucky you didn't break your neck when you fell down the stairs."
"Yeah, I know. Miracle, huh?" Jack asked, slipping slowly off of the table as he pulled his shirt back on. Maybe he should have broken his neck, he thought silently. Put him out of his misery...
"I'm gonna give you some pain killers; you'll probably be in a world of hurt the next couple of days." The doctor told him, and Jack nodded, taking the script from him. "Thanks Matt." he told the man, and exited the exam room. Jack looked behind him as he heard his name being called, and the doctor told him loudly not to drive home.
"I'm taking a cab, Matt, thanks--" Jack felt a hard body hit against his, and he instantly reached out, feeling an arm as he tried to steady both himself and the other person, but the slipping feeling only made him stumble slightly.
"I-I'm sorry--sorry." Jack mumbled, trying to move past her to get back to walking. He really needed a cab, and he needed his bed. And to fill those damn painkillers; that would take an hour at least, unless he pulled the doctor card, and he could have it in fifteen minutes, less if he used his loud voice.
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Post by Alice Chase on Jul 20, 2008 14:24:25 GMT -5
So the Evans girl has appendicitis, the Jones' kid just got released from surgery, and Morgan's boy was born prematurely....Anything else you want to throw at me?
Alice stared at the files and papers scattered about her desk, the end of her pen in her mouth as she absentmindedly chewed on it as she thought about what she was writing. She scribbled down a few mores notes and closed the folders with a sigh. She could finish the rest tomorrow.
Still dressed in her usual scrubs, she gathered the folders together, blowing the bangs from her face. She slipped on her white labcoat - decorated with colorful dinosaurs, of course - and grabbed the files in her hands, with all intentions of storing them away with the rest of the files in the hospital. Then she would be able to go home and - hopefully - get some sleep. She knew it was at least dark outside, but she didn't dare look at the clock, for fear it would be much later than she realized.
But as she walked through the blinding white maze of halls toward the exact opposite end of the hospital, she did glance at her watch. However, she didn't even have the moment to register the time in her mind before she ran headlong into someone. Luckily, she didn't drop her files. A hand gripped her arm, trying to balance both of them at the same time.
"It's all right." Alice replied, hearing him apologize as she looked over at him. She recognized him - he worked at the hospital too, but she couldn't for the life remember his name. Started with a S, didn't it?
"You look a little worse for wear there Dr... Shephard." She said, the name finally clicking in her mind. "Do you need help with anything? Because it looks to me like you're not exactly in the right condition to be moving about much."
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Jul 20, 2008 14:51:28 GMT -5
For a brief second, he wondered how she knew his name. However, it clicked. The crash, the hospital. If he hadn't been Saint Sebastian's golden boy then, he was sure as hell one now. He tried to wrack his brain for a name; she looked vaguely familer, and the dinos on her labcoat. Peds. Jack hadn't really had any contact with Peds unless his patient was a child; and he had a few children before he had left. But she was new...he knew almost every doctor in the hospital. Eyeing the ID badge, it was blurry for a second before his eyes focused. "Doctor Chase. Are you new here?"
She asked if he needed anything, and Jack scoffed slightly, laughing ironically. "I need alot of things." he told her honestly, but in all reality, he wasn't sure what he really, truely needed. He needed the ability to turn back time. To go back to the start, before all of this happened, before the plane crash, before his father left drunkenly for Australia and before all of this pain and loss and heartache. Before everything. Start new. Jack brought a unsteady hand to his face and rubbed it, running across scruffy cheeks, pressing in on his eyes for a moment.
"I uh...actually, I have no clue what I need right now. I'm sorry for bumping into you. I'm...I'm Jack. Jack Shephard." the voice was slow, drugged, and so tired. Tired of running, tired of lying of fighting and decieving. He could almost hear the voice inside of his head, of his father telling him that soon, he'd believe his own lies. Why couldn't it be true? Why couldn't be snap his fingers and believe his own lies? That everything was fine, that Claire was getting help...when in all honesty, he wondered if he was the one that needed to be in Santa Rosa.
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Post by Alice Chase on Jul 20, 2008 14:57:42 GMT -5
She nodded.
"Yes, I'm a bit new. Only been here for roughly about a month and a half, maybe less." She replied, watching him carefully. He didn't exactly look the best right now, and frankly, Alice was worried about him getting hurt or something as he tried to make his way out of the hospital. If he had just bumped into her, that could mean he's probably just bump into some lightpost outside. "I don't really keep track of things like that."
"It's fine. No harm done Dr. Shephard." She told him softly. "And I'm Alice Chase. Pleasure to meet you - I've heard alot about your skills as a spinal surgeon." She continued, though she knew he was probably getting annoyed at people telling him that. She knew he had been on the plane crash - and so had a lot of other people.
"But would you like me to get you some Tylenol or Asprin or something just in case it takes a bit long to get your prescription?" Alice offered, noticing the note clutched in his hand.
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Jul 20, 2008 15:05:20 GMT -5
When Alice said she had heard everything about him, Jack let it go. Everyone had heard everything about him, and nothing was his anymore. Except what had happened on the Island. The only true thing he held left, held secret from everyone. What had happened, that was his only best kept secret left and he held onto it like a lifeline. It wasn't even worth wanting to tell anyone about the Island anymore...no one would have believed. Tropical Islands with smoke monsters and hatches and death?! It was the stuff television shows were made of.
"Yeah, I've heard absolutely nothing about you." It wasn't meant to sound rude, but it was the truth. "I was, um...I've been away." he told her honestly, though unless she had been living in a cave, she would have known about the plane crash. "I'm just taking a little longer to...adjust. Three months on an Island...it changes you."
Understatment of the year award goes to...
She spoke of Tylenol, and Jack shook his head. "I've built up a tolerance. It's basically all we had on the Island and--" and after everything, after all the busted shoulders and falls and wounds... "It wasn't exactly...pain free being on the Island so none of it really...works anymore."
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Post by Alice Chase on Jul 20, 2008 15:11:38 GMT -5
"Well, of course you haven't. You haven't exactly been around, now have you?" She said, knowing full and well he had been on the island. "I imagine is does change you - I probably wouldn't have survived long if it had been me." Alice continued, honestly. She liked hiking and camping and stuff, but on a deserted island with little hpe of rescue - no thanks, she'd stick to the cities.
"Oh. All right then." Alice spoke simply after he turned down the Tylenol, saying it was pretty much useless. Tylenol was usually the solution to everything - and Windex, according to her father - so she wasn't used to it being turned down. But she shrugged slightly, adjusting her files to her other arm as she looked at Jack, still warily of the fact that he might fall over any moment because of his pain. "Something stronger perhaps?"
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Jul 20, 2008 15:41:53 GMT -5
Something stronger.
He forced himself to smile slightly, to keep his mouth shut and to not let her know. Not let her know what was going on inside of his head, how much pain he had caused...how much pain he was causing himself...
"Yeah, something stronger would work. And Jack. It's just Jack. I hear Doctor Shephard and I think of my father."
It hadn't even phased him that he had taken a pain killer right after Sawyer had left. That had only been two hours ago. Take every 4 hours for pain. Do not exceed 6 capsules in 24 hours. The words shot through his brain, but he shook them on. "Yeah, that would be great."
He hoped she didn't ask him how it happened. He had fallen down some stairs...and onto a set of fists belonging to a very pissed off Southerner. "Look, if you have rounds or something, I don't mean to bother you. I know how busy it gets around here." But strangely, Saint Sebastian's had been quiet whenever he came in. Almost as if they had been tip-toeing around him, making sure to not crack anything. To not speak of the plane crash for fear of psychological reprocussions. He hated them for doing it, because he wanted to tell them everything. Allt he people who had died. The people who had tried to kill them...the pain, the fear. Everything was boiling inside of him. "I don't want to take up any more of your time."
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Post by Alice Chase on Jul 20, 2008 15:49:19 GMT -5
"All right then... Jack." She said, hesitating slightly on his name. "I have something in my coat - I think...." She trailed off, digging in her pockets for something stronger. She carried around strong medication for some of the kids who were in worse pain than others, and she wondered if she had thought to hand on to any - just in case.
"No, I don't have any rounds." She replied, resorting to digging in the other pocket now. "It's not that busy tonight, actually. Most of my patients are asleep anyway - but you're not bothering me or taking up my time." Alice told him as she finaly found what she was looking for. She pulled a small packet out of her front pocket, glancing at the name on it.
Oxycodine.
She frowned, wondering why she had that in her pocket. According to what they said, no one under eighteen was supposed to take the stuff. Her brow wrinkled, but she sighed and handed the packet to Jack.
"Will these do?"
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Jul 21, 2008 8:34:17 GMT -5
As she fished into her pocket, saying that she didn't have any rounds, Jack shifted slightly, uneasy. He wanted to leave, to go back to the hotel and sleep it off, however, when she asked 'Will these do?' and produced a packet of Oxycodine, Jack arched an eyebrow. "Oxycodine." he repeated the name, and took the package as it was held out to him. "Isn't that a little strong for Peds?" Not that he minded, however. Any port in the storm, and it would save him a trip to medical supply.
He ripped open the package with his teeth, shaking the little pills onto the palm of his hand. He glanced around, seeing no water source, so he downed them dry, wincing slightly at the sensation. He didn't bother telling her that he had already taken some earlier. He didn't bother telling her that it'd be good if something happened. He didn't know her from Eve and he didn't want her to worry. Not about him.
"Thanks for--" he winced slightly as he shifted, feeling hiis ribs scream out in pain. "the pills. Can--can I uh, buy you a cup of coffee?"
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Post by Alice Chase on Jul 21, 2008 10:46:49 GMT -5
"Yeah, it is a bit strong - I still can't figure out how they got there. I suppose I could have grabbed the wrong package." Alice shrugged, tucking hair behind her ear as she looked at Jack, watching him as he dry swallowed them. She winced slightly, knowing it probably didn't feel the best.
"You're welcome." She smiled when he thanked her. "And a cup of coffee would be great - only if you're feeling up to it though." She continued. He still looked pretty bad in her opinion - but he was a doctor and could tell ho wmuch pain he could handle before he did something.
"That medicine might take a bit to kick in though."
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Jul 21, 2008 23:44:37 GMT -5
Jack knew it would only be a matter of time before sweet bliss spread through his bloodstream, sending pulsing waves of opiate pleasure to drown out the pain and the lies and the noise inside of his head. The only bad thing was it took too long. When she said coffee would be fine, Jack had to wonder if this was his last ditch effort to try to save himself? Was this him secretly trying to reach out, to have her save him? Did he really even want to be saved anymore?
However, people expected him to. Everyone expected everything from Jack...soon he wondered iff there would be anything left of him to call his anymore. Claire...Claire hated him, Kate...he wans't sure about Kate. Kate always looked at him with those eyes, pitying him although she told him she wasn't. Almost like the way the woman in front of him now was looking. Except she was looking at the superficial injuries. The bumps and bruises and broken bones from his fight with Sawyer. Kate...Kate knew the bruises and bumped egos, bruised hearts and broken, shattered minds from the Island.
A cup of coffee would be great, she told him, only if he was up to it. Jack wasn't up to anything, but he had to lie. Talking, at least for the moment, made it stop. Lying made the pain stop because if he believed in his own lie, he'd be set. If he could just believe in it a little bit harder.
"I'm not feeling up to it, but I havn't eaten anything in...probably a day in a half. Some coffee might be good for me."
Liar. It's been three days almost, and you need so much more than Coffee. You need to talk to Claire. You need to admit to your mistakes. You need too--
"Can we get that coffee now?" Jack asked, almost loudly trying to break the sound of his thoughts. That little nagging voice that made Jack angry because he knew it was right. "S-Sorry, I've just--after the rescue I've just been...on edge."
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Post by Alice Chase on Jul 22, 2008 13:47:50 GMT -5
"Well then, I suppose a cup of coffee would do youself some good if you haven't eaten in that long." Alice commented. She herself had never gone without eating that long.
There was something about him that was beginning to bug her. Something wrong with him - other than the bruises and such that she could see on his body. Well of course you idiot - he was in a plane crash and barely survived on a little island out in the middle of nowhere. She said to herself, trying to dismiss it, but kne wit was something much more deeper than that.
Of course, she had read the article about his half-sister Claire being sent to Santa Rosa's so she could get better or get over whatever was bothering her - whatever you did in a mental hospital. Alice had never experienced it, and never really wanted to.
"Yeah - though you'll have to settle on the tasteless coffee the caferteria serves." She said with a slight laugh. She never had liked hospital food - whether she was a doctor or a patient. "But yeah, we can get it now."
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Aug 2, 2008 15:56:38 GMT -5
Why hadn't he eaten that long? Of course, seeing his father (or what Jack was sure had to be a hallucination from the drugs) hadn't helped. Nor sending Claire to Santa Rosa, that didn't help, either. Or the fight with Sawyer. The last good meal he had eaten was...with Mom, he thought. And even then, he had politely picked through food, not really wanting to eat much. They had walked over the topic of Claire and the Island, instead talking about what he was planning on doing now that he was back. Alive.
That had been before he had self-prescribed a little medication. Before the alochol.
Alice spoke, and he nodded slightly. "Coffee, yeah. Coffee sounds good." he moved to step, and he felt his world spin slightly. He reached out, fingers wrapping around Alice's arm to steady himself. Maybe the caffinee would cancel out the alcohol until he got home and was able to crash on a bed. Alice spoke of hospital food, and Jack shrugged. "I never used to each much when I first started. My, uh...my ex-wife always used to get on me because when I worked, I lost so much weight because I never had time to eat." That was before she had left. The beginning of the end. "But that, uh...that was a while ago." he said, his voice lowering slightly. He hadn't even seen Sarah. Did she miss him? Apparently not.
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Post by Alice Chase on Aug 2, 2008 16:07:54 GMT -5
As his fingers closed around her arm, she used her other hand to reach out and grab his shoulder, helping steady him. Yeah, good job Alice. This guy looks like he really needs Oxycodin right now. She was mentally kicking herself. Unless he really was that sick, and it was making him dizzy. But he had expressed no signs of sickness that she could tell other than the bruises and bandages on his body. She frowned slightly, but carefully made sure he was standing before removing her hand from his shoulder.
"That's what lunch breaks are for." She said as she began down the hall, glancing behind her to make sure Jack hadn't toppled over. Thankfully, the caferteria was on this floor and they didn't need to tackle stairs or the elevator. "If you're going to be a doctor, you need to be able to think clearly - and lack of food has a tendency to fog your mind with hunger." Alice continued softly. She found herself somedays sucking on the lollipops she kept in her pockets to give to kids after treating them.
"And I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are divorced."
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Jack Shephard
new oceanic 815.
Don't. Pity. Me. You have no idea what I've been through.
Posts: 197
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Post by Jack Shephard on Aug 2, 2008 17:03:57 GMT -5
"And I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are divorced."
He knew the rule like the back of his hand. Never get involved with patients. It was something his father told him when he had graduated from medical school. Never get emotionally involved, it will only lead to trouble. And for a while, it worked. And then Sarah came along. The woman who only wanted to dance at her wedding. Well she had danced. She had danced in his arms and he wondered now if he married her out of pity, or of a need to be close to the thing he fixed.
"She um," he started, steadying himself enough to walk. "She cheated on me. I mean, I guess it's my fault since I was hardly ever home, but...but yeah, that's what happened." He wanted to hate Sarah, but so much had gone on in the past three months, that the little emotional kiddy rollarcoaster that he had gone on with Sarah did little to hurt him anymore.
"And it's my fault that I even got involved with her." he added after a moment, shaking his head. "She...she was my patient. She's--she's the reason why they call me a miracle worker around here. And...and I don't think they're right, I think--I think I just got a really lucky break because I'm not a miracle worker. And I'm not a hero. I'm just..."
A giant screw up, Jack thought silently. "I'm just a person that has been placed in...extremely horrible situations only to make it out alive."
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