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Post by tom on Jul 20, 2008 20:01:23 GMT -5
"But you see the thing is... I really thought today that I was trying... at least for a few minutes and then... well... the same fear came over me that I was just making the same mistake as with Claire and I couldn't really commit to one person... and I just left." He sipped more of his coffee gently, inhaling it and feeling it calm him.
"I don't know what it is I want... but at this age, I really should, right?" He looked around at the other patrons. "I really shouldn't be like this."
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Post by leandra on Jul 20, 2008 20:18:39 GMT -5
[ooc: Gonna send you PM on LIL - you need to read before continuing this]
She really wanted to help this guy, but somehow she didn't think it was working. He had to hit with heavy problems when she was having a bad day. She wasn't coping well with it. She really hoped she didn't snap at him, because that wouldn't help matters one little bit.
"But you see" she began firmly, "that's exactly the wrong thing you did" she continued, sighing slightly. "You never gave it a chance. You have to embrace the fear and get over it Thomas, because if you don't you'll never commit" she explained as gently but firmly as she could.
"No, you shouldn't be like this" she said softly, but she knew that it was a known fact females grew more mature than males, but at 24 he should be in better control of himself. "I'd suggest you using me as a trial run" she said half joking, half serious, "I mean at least you know I wont stop talking to you" then she sort of laughed, what the hell had she just said? The painkillers must be making her delirious. "Sorry, forget that, I don't know what came over me" she spluttered, "Seriously, you need to try and get over this" she finished.
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Post by tom on Jul 20, 2008 23:34:01 GMT -5
Thomas' eyes wearily glanced over her, did he catch what he just thought she said? "Try with you? I'm errr... chuffed." he gave her a small smile over the rim of his coffee. "But I thought you had a boyfriend or something" he shook his head for a second, "I'm sorry... I guess I just assumed, never really asked."
He looked down at his coffee again, "I do embrace the fear... at least for a little while. I just don't stick to it. I don't stick to anything. Why else do you think I'm a painter? Because I couldn't commit to anything else."
He hated being told what he already knew. He knew he had to get over it one of these days, he just didn't know if today was supposed to be the day. "Maybe I'll just leave it. I should get over it some time before I'm thirty, right?"
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Post by leandra on Jul 21, 2008 20:07:57 GMT -5
She still couldn't believe what she had just offered to do for him, he must think she was an idiot or something. Apart from the fact they hardly knew each other really, there was the age thing to consider. She was quite a good bit older than him, and although it wouldn't actually bother her, it may well bother him. She felt stupid as her cheeks flushed furiously red. However she answered his question anyway.
"No, I don't have a boyfriend, haven't been in a proper relationship now for over three years" she said sighing a little. It was awful, she missed the attention, the love and care, it wasn't just about sex to Leah, it was the small things she missed, which was why she was so annoyed at giving herself to Miles so easily.
It's also why she would make a pact to change that, and start respecting herself more, if you don't respect yourself, how do you expect others to respect you she thought to herself. "And it's alright, I can't believe what I just said however, you must think I'm a right slut or something" she continued with a bit of a sad smile as she looked into her coffee cup and wished the ground could swallow her up at that moment.
"Jeez Thomas" Leah stated after listening to him going on about not committing to anything. "Look, like I said before, if you don't try you'll never know" she continued. When she first met Thomas she thought he had changed, but listening to him now she realised he hadn't changed at all.
"You'll never get a woman if you constantly shy away at any sort of commitment, you seriously need to get your act together. Bloody well go back and find that girl and talk to her damnit" she almost snapped at him. Not that she meant to be nasty, but her head was so painfully sore, and the fact she couldn't get this young man to see sense was annoying the hell out of her.
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Post by tom on Jul 21, 2008 23:48:19 GMT -5
"A right slut?" He looked at her a little confused at what he was hearing. "You haven't been in a relationship for three years. That's a good thing right?" He was actually even more confused at why she was giving him advice on settling down when she had hardly settled down herself. That was why he was asking for her advice in the first place... because he thought she had a boyfriend and was already settled down somewhat and knew what it was like. "So why... erm" He looked at his coffee again, "haven't you taken the plunge?" He finished with a small, half-hearted smile. He didn't know how he could expect to follow her advice now. He seemed more stuck than ever.
"Well, the last thing the girl today told me was I exactly like I was when I left Claire, my pregnant girlfriend" Thomas drunk the rest of his coffee rather fast and it burnt his throat somewhat, but that hardly mattered right now. "I really don't expect her to ever look at me again."
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Post by leandra on Jul 22, 2008 0:10:37 GMT -5
"The slut was referring to me suggesting a trial run with me, not that I haven't been in a relationship for three years" she replied with a bit of a chuckle that he had got it wrong. She knew he would question the fact she hadn't been in a relationship for three years, and here she was giving him advice on relationships. He must have thought she had a nerve. What kind of advice could she really give him anyway?
"I haven't taken the plunge because the special someone hadn't come along" she said sadly, "It's not as if I haven't tried. I actually love someone now, but well it's all unrequited" she said even more sad than before.
"Well maybe if you were to go back and apologise to the girl, it might help for a start" Leah said softly, she really wanted to help this guy, but how could she help him, if he wouldn't let her? It seemed everything she said fell on deaf ears with him.
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Post by tom on Jul 22, 2008 0:29:55 GMT -5
"Well if it makes you feel any better" Thomas began, "I never thought of you as a slut." Her explanation helped though. "Well, at least you're actually trying... not running like I am." He told her. "So what's the problem with this guy you love?" Thomas asked. "I mean, anyone would be stupid not to love you back, right?"
He didn't quite get why a girl like this was single, maybe that's why he assumed. "I could go back and apoogize. Maybe after I work out everything with Claire... and try to make sure I'm not as much of a prat as last time." He thought about this, but shook his head for a second. "She's too good for me anyway. She's a doctor."
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Post by leandra on Jul 22, 2008 20:35:07 GMT -5
"Thanks" Leah said softly when he said he hadn't thought of her as a slut. It did make her feel better. What's the problem with the guy she loved? Now there was a loaded question, how could she possibly answer that she wondered. "Well he basically loves someone else" she replied honestly, "I don't know why I still have feelings for him, because I know he'll never love me like I love him. Funny though, his love seems to be unrequited also" she explained in frustrated tones.
"I was also engaged about three years ago, that was the last relationship I was in, he died of a brain tumour, so things haven't been wonderful for me since. But I don't see myself as anything special, why should a guy love me back?" she asked him. Maybe reverse psychology could work on him, who knows.
"Well I seriously think you should consider it. Hopefully your meeting will go well with Claire, or you'll get something started with this new girl" she replied kindly, "and Thomas, don't ever think anybody is too good for you, that attitude certainly wont help you" she continued with a slight frown followed by a small smile.
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Post by tom on Jul 22, 2008 21:13:09 GMT -5
"I'm so sorry" Thomas muttered again about her ex-fiance dying of a brain tumor. "It must have been horrible for you. Was he young? You know... when he died?" He asked, wondering if he was being tactful about it.
He shook his head with the whole unrequited love thing, he didn't believe in unrequited love. He thought there was always some way of winning someone over and it was always easy to move on to someone else. Real romantic, Thomas he chided himself on his thoughts, thinking he was being of no help here.
"I guess not," he agreed wearily and played with his empty coffee cup. He still thought the same thing though. Taking the plunge was easy, it was staying in the water that was hard.
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Post by leandra on Jul 22, 2008 21:29:36 GMT -5
"Thanks" she said sadly as a few tears welled up in her eyes. She still found it quite tough to talk about after all this time. And so far Thomas was the only person she'd told. She hadn't even told Miles about Sam, but then, what would he have cared anyway?
"He was same as I was 26, so yeah young, it was such a shock and so quick" she said through her tears. "Sorry, excuse me" she stammered, as she rummaged through her handbag for some paper hankies. She dabbed at her eyes, "I can't believe after all this time it still gets me to talk about it" she explained.
"Unrequited love is the suck, trust me. Maybe if Sawyer wasn't in an unrequited situation himself, things might happen between us eventually, but right now he doesn't even seem to notice I exist" she said, giving him a further explanation on the unrequited situation even though he never asked.
"No guess not, definitely not" she chided him, "Come on Thomas, get your act together, alright I'm hardly the best candidate to be giving out that kind of advice, but I've had my reasons for my love life to be lying low recently" she finished with a sad smile.
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Post by tom on Jul 22, 2008 22:01:55 GMT -5
Thomas wished he was quicker than her at getting a napkin or something to wipe her eyes with, but it seemed she'd beaten him to the punch. "It's an awful thing to happen to someone. To die so young." He said sadly. "Unrequited love must be terrible too" he added, although he didn't really mean it.
"So by getting my act together, you think I should go for it and try to actually settle down with someone for once?" He clarified. "No matter how badly I screwed things up with Claire in the past?"
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Post by leandra on Jul 22, 2008 22:46:24 GMT -5
"Yes it was awful, it was the saddest day of my life, I was devastated, threw myself into work, it was the only way I could cope" she replied, looking at the diamond ring on her right finger, she had swapped hands, because once she'd done all her grieving and was ready to date again, she hadn't wanted anybody to know she was engaged, when her fiance was no longer alive.
"Yes damnit Thomas, go for it, everybody learns from their mistakes, even me" she said referring to her times with Miles where she'd allowed herself to be used by him for sex. Even if in a way she was using him too, to get over Sawyer, even though it blatantly hadn't worked. "What you did to Claire is in the past, don't let your past haunt your future" she said wisely as if she was some sort of expert on relationship therapy all of a sudden.
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Post by tom on Jul 24, 2008 0:12:09 GMT -5
"I can see why you were single for so long then" he said, "that's a really hard thing to get over. If Claire had died on your flight... when I thought she was dead... I tried to move on, drown my sorrows and make a new life for myself. I realized what I was doing though. I felt responsible for the whole thing. It's my fault Claire got on that flight." He gulped. "It would have been my fault if she lost our baby." He almost felt sick again at this. He had a good reason to let the past haunt his future.
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Post by leandra on Jul 24, 2008 0:22:58 GMT -5
Leah really felt like slapping the guy into shape. He was never going to get over his issues and the past, he'd never move on if he couldn't get over it.
"You didn't make Claire get on that flight Thomas, you weren't standing over her with a gun" she said in kind tones, trying desperately to make him see it wasn't his fault. Not really. "And from what I know, she got the flight tickets from some psychic" she continued, not even sure she should have told him that much.
"I know it's difficult Thomas, but you just need to slap yourself and turn your life around" she said in strong tones. The guy seriously needed shook by the shoulders.
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Post by tom on Jul 24, 2008 0:27:44 GMT -5
"From some physic?" Thomas asked, and chuckled a little. "Yeah, that sounds like m... Claire." He almost said my Claire when she was hardly his anymore. "And OK, you're right. I'll go for it with Alice." He told her. "I think..." He repeated, feeling like he was spacing out somewhat. "You should have met her," he said, "she's a doctor who takes care of sick kids, she's really sweet..." He wondered sometimes if he was choosing more for Aaron than from himself.
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